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Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I've been surfing the net about boyfriends who keep telling you mean things when they are mad. I guess I'm not alone. There's tones of them out there. I show you my favourites. This is gonna be a loooooooong post. 'I used to think this was normal fighting behavior, until I met my current boyfriend. One time he said something along the lines of "why are you being such a b*tch?" Immediately he turned bright red and said, "oh my goodness, that is so disrespectful, I will never, EVER do something like that again. I love you and you are not a b*tch." He appoligized all night. That was over a year ago, and he has never said anything even close to that again. If this guy really cared about you, he would have never did it in the first place, or learned his lesson the first time he hurt your feelings.' - Wow. That's super sweet. Wished he was like that. This is weird. I had a massive fight with my boyfriend last night and this is what happened. He called me some unrepeatable things. Not uncommon for him to do so. I'm so torn up and upset about it this morning. Almost sick to my stomach about it. The fact that he can say these things to me. I would never do that to him, no matter how mad I was. So I open up DearSugar, and this is the first post I see. It's like someone is trying to tell me something. My bf did the same thing to me once...and it did rreally hurt.He felt really bad and hasn't done anythign like that since. I just pretty much said that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who called me names.(Me- See. He told me i'm being merepek if i wanna break up because of what he says. Well guess what, I'm not alone. *jeling) It's too stressful for me, and it's not something I need in my life.I let him know if he EVER did that again, I would leave. And I wasn't kidding. And he knew. And that's why it hasn't happened since, and won't happen again. MY FAV: You say he apologizes after he's done being an ass, but he continues w/ the same abusive behavior. So, the next time he says that he wishes he never met you, laugh in his face, tell him you can't go back in time, but see if this helps. Then you pack up your stuff, and leave. Don't call him, try to have zero contact with him, and FORGET about him. It'll be like you two never met. Harsh maybe, but he treats you like crap, and you deserve much better than this. Go out there, find a mature man that knows how to have a mature argument, with no name calling or verbal abuse. Im having this same problem currently in my own relationship. But the problem didnt really hit me completely until last monday, when I got into a small argument with my boyfriend and he blew up and called me an idiot, lazy, a loser and a f*cking b*tch really loudly and within a time span of 3 minutes. I was in shock and told him he needs to cool off and think about how hes speaking to me, but he didnt care. Less than two hours later he was trying to cuddle and say he loves me. I think these reactions are definitely childish. Sometimes, I think women develop more rapidly in a relationship because they are honestly trying to understand the partner, no matter how hard it may be. Men can be prodded and hurt sometimes more deeply then women, and what we may take to be an angry reaction is also a reflection of inner hurt. Another problem is dependency. If you were to break up with your boyfriend today, could there be anything he could really do to hurt you, except call you more names? If you live with him, are involved with him seriously or have made a commitment to each other, then it is even harder to just pick up in leave. I think you should take a step back and evalulate your situation and/or future with this individual and make the most healthy choice for yourself. There is no reason to feel abused or unwanted, because all women are beautiful and deserve to be treated exactly how they treat others. If you have an out, then make it. If hes so stubborn and egotistic that he doesnt care if you would leave him because of this, then this relationship isnt worth it in the long run, because he doesnt respect you, let alone love you. *I just break down and cry every time, I can't help it, but hearing someone who claims to love you so much calling you the worst names under the sun (that no one else in your life has ever called you) it's very upsetting and I'm in a position where I find it very hard to decide what to do. |
    
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