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Saturday, February 28, 2009
I am SO HUNGRY!!! I've not eaten the whole freaking day. No, I'm not on diet. I can't wait for dinner later. Supposedly we were going to have our dinner after 7 but my mum wants to watch the Pesta Perdana. So yeah. Mum wants to treat us to seafooooooood!! Most probably at Newton. Chili crab and baby kailan, wait for me! Seriously, I am so hungry, you know. It feels like I'm fasting. -_-!! Can't wait for tomorrow too! Whole day with the Love of my life. So happy. Not only tomorrow. Sunday also! He took off on Monday so he only needs to book in on Monday night. Can't wait baby! We have been waiting for this day since a week ago. *kening up up* So let's see what I have planned for tomorrow. - Ben & Jerry at Dempsey Hill ( the atmosphere is THE BEST, I tell you ) -New York New York or SAKURA, maybe? -Movies/Gaming? -Our secret hiding place. ( secret abis ) That's all! Enjoy your weekend, people! Friday, February 27, 2009 What is a definition of bestfriends? To me is someone whom I know very well and vice versa, who has been there for me through my ups and downs, someone I can trust with everything. Can that someone literally become my bestfriend in a matter of months? I don't think so. In friendship, there is always a point of time where you will be so close as glue and the next minute, you don't meet or text each other as often as you used to. I mean, that's normal right? You don't have to meet or contact each other everyday to keep the friendship alive. Its never like that for me. Friendship and Relationship is two very different thing. Relationship, its a MUST for you to contact each other. If one of them went missing, there must be something wrong. But friendship, no. I never felt something missing if I didn't contact my bestfriend for a day or maybe weeks. Cos I know, everyone has a life to live. Me and my bestfriend, Aishah, we met in 2005. We used to be very close, but now, not anymore but we are still friends. Despite us not contacting each other or meet each other for weeks or even month, I still feel that I can tell her everything. Same goes to her. Even though we have been missing on each other's life quite alot, we still can tell each other things. Now, thats what I call bestfriend. Doesnt matter where you are in this world, at the end of the day, you know you can count on her. And my other BFF is none other then Lyn. I know her since 2006. Daguen, you know i know eh where we got to know each other. Haha. We used to conference everyday at MSN together with Dag. We were so called quite close la eh. She used to have a very possesive boyfriend back then. So we seldom meet. Don't say meet la. Can't even text her. Sometimes she goes missing for months then suddenly appear out of nowhere. Then we started to hangout. Late-night hangouts till dawn. Like I said, at one point, we were so close like superglue and after awhile, we drift apart. In friendships, there's also the ups and downs of it. You quarell and stuff. Its a lie if I say we never had our own misunderstanding. But overall, I know she is someone whom I can trust. A loyal friend, I must say. Someone whom I can count on. So whatever people say about her, I don't bother cos I know, I know her better then other people do. Now these two people is whom I call bestfriends. And my guy bestfriend is none other then my own boyfriend. Haha. I don't open up with guys easily but when I met him, he was the first guy whom I really felt comfortable with. I love you boyfriend. Love you soooooo much! ps: i reallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy hope to get the GST money by tomorrow or latest Saturday. Please please please!! Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I wanna share a few quotes which I think is really sweet, true and meaningful. When you love somebody, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love with all your might. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure that the person is worth it.>> Oh yes. Just make sure that person is worth it before crying your heart out. HAHA. Words and hearts should be handled with care... for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. >> Yeah so true! Women fall in love through their ears, and men through their eyes.>> That explains why woman falls inlove easily with sweet talker.. But all those sweet talks that are coming from his mouth are only meant for my ears, only. Heh. Some people don't get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve.>> YEAH, TRUE. It's better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than lose that someone with your useless pride.>> U'HUH!! Tuesday, February 24, 2009 Have you ever felt like something is amiss but you're not quite sure what? That's exactly what I am feeling right now. Sometimes I feel like I have to compete with other people just for his time. Even though I am his girlfriend. Too many friends, too little time. And it's not like as if I have 7 days a week to be with him. If I have those 7 days to spend time with him, I won't mind if he wants to meet his friends a lil longer then usual. But no. I only have weekends for him but its very rare to have him all to myself cos there's always and I mean always disturbance from other people. It can get very frustrating, you know. Ergh! I can't even remember when was the last time I spent the whole day with him without anyone disturbing. And its getting b-o-r-i-n-g. Boring sangat2.. And its undeniably clear that I still have my guard up towards love. I am not sure why though. Maybe cos I see my friends getting their heart broken by stupid, heartless guys, it makes me scared myself. I am seriously scared of getting my heart broken. Sigh. And oh, its proven that guys don't think like us, girls. Girls take note of EVERY LITTLE THINGS that happened in their relationship but guys? They are proven to be ignorant creatures. Bah. Only a small number of guys are not like that. I have an interview tomorrow. Wish me luck. And after that, I'll be meeting Lyn. Can't wait. Sunday, February 22, 2009  Its Saturday night and I'm at home with nothing to do. Md Faizrul is at camp because of some mobilisation going on. I've not taken a bath yet. Haha. And I'm starting to feel dizzy because I've been on the computer since 1pm??? You know, I don't even know why I'm updating. Hah. I miss my boyfriend la. Saturday, February 21, 2009 Finally.. FINALLY!!! This is my last shot. My last chance!! I just hope this time, everything will work out. God, help me, please. Friday, February 20, 2009 I have always been insecure about myself.. No matter how I try not to be, it always comes back, whether I like it or not. Insecurities happens to everyone. No matter how pretty you are, how popular you are or how rich you are, you will still feel some insecurities in one point of your life. Just look at Hollywood celebrities. Sometimes I wonder, what am I really insecure about? I don't quite know myself. Or maybe I do. Haiz. Maybe what I need most right now is confident. Confident in myself. And confident in this relationship. Till the end it shall be. And I am confident that one day, I will get a job. Haha. And yeah, at this point of time, I seriously don't need any negative comments about myself. Like how lazy I am, how useless I am or how broke I am right now. Ergh. Anyway, Happy 19th Monthsary to you, boyfriend. Flaws and all, I still love you baby. Ps: Tu anak mesti tgh enjoy kat Dbl O skrng while I am stuck at home, facing the computer. I should have followed since she wants to sponsor everything from drinks to cab rides. Damn it! Wasted oppurtunity. HAHA. Enjoy eh kau Lyn! Next time, it shall be. To Zirca, hopefully.     <3 Thursday, February 19, 2009 So last Saturday was Valentine's Day. How was yours? As for me, we didn't celebrate it like every other couples do cos everyday is Love Day to us. Heh. So cliche. Anyway, we had dinner at Pastamania. Its been months since we ate Pasta. But unfortunately, bf was too full to finish up his food. Both the pasta and pizza. The pizza that we bought, I only ate one slice and the rest, packed. After that, the night was ours. Sunday came, Bf had duty and I was supposed to go to my cousin's engagement ceremony but I was too tired and sleepy so I skipped. Around noon, Mat Noh msg me about the last-minute gathering with the Jean Yip people. Since I was free and its been a long time I hangout with them, so why not? Met them at Town, had Mc'D for dinner. After that we went to have milkshake at Hip Diner at Cineleisure. I was already home by 12 plus. On Monday and Tuesday, Bf took off. I didn't know where he was bringing me on Monday. Everytime I asked, he will just say ' adelah '. He picked me up around 8. Went to Bugis to have our dinner first. After that slack at Town for awhile. I eventually got to know where is that 'adelah' place he was planning to bring me. It was Hard Rock Cafe for Kumar's Night! Hahaha. I mean wherelse right hes gonna bring me on Monday Night? The show was hilarious I tell you!! I can't get enough of his jokes lor. Hes jokes are mostly racist. But its damn funny! He even critised his own race. Haha. The show starts at 11pm and finished around 1 plus. It would be better if the show has no breaks in between. Oh well. Maybe should go there again one day. Those who has never been to Kumar's Night, you should try. And as Tuesday, I was being very nice, I decided to drop by Wdls instead of him coming down to my place. Heh. I was already up at 1 plus. He was still sleeping like a log till 4 plus. So yeah. reached his place around 7. Bla3. He sent me back home around 9 plus as he has to book in by 1030pm. I was so glad that I received the letter bout me getting the Gst Credit this year. I thought I won't get it since my bday falls on September. Even though its only 200 bucks, its still money, you know. Not like some people. 200 bucks? Sikitnyeeee. Money face people like that la. Pfft. I don't know why I keep having headaches these past few daysss. Every.single.day. So irritating!!! Ergh. And oh, Md Faizrul won't be booking out this weekend because of some stuff. Ns sucks. For more pictures, visit my Multiply la eh.     One of the drag queens at Kumar's show. Haha.   That's all for now! Wednesday, February 18, 2009 Seriously, it is not funny eh calling skinny people 'anorexic' when in actual fact, I am skinny naturally! It is in my genes, you get that dumbfuck?? I have never ever diet in my whole 20 years living. I eat whatever I want and whenever I want. I have never worried about eating this or that will make me gain weight (I even hope that I can gain a couple more kgs) or wearing this or that will make me look fat. Sorry la. No time to worry about all that stuff. Hah. I'll update more with pictures later at night. Tuesday, February 17, 2009 Sometimes I think God is always there to for me. Yeah I know. I don't pray. I sinned. But I still believe that he is there. To show me the light or simply to tell me things that I don't know about. I always realized that whatever major things I did, my mum will eventually know a few days later. She just know. And I find that weird. Or maybe mum really knows the best. Sometimes she even said she dream of things that is gonna happen or already happened. And I honestly feel things happen for a reason. Whatever happens, there's always a reason for it. Doesn't matter good or bad. Like you accidentally chance upon something and you start to think.. ' is he trying to tell me something? Is he trying to tell me that that person is keeping something from me? ' And your mind starts to over work again. God is fair. Whatever you did, somehow sooner or later, someone will know. So yeah. Watch your back. If you think you can get away with it, you're so wrong. Saturday, February 14, 2009 Tired, sleepy, no energy, boring and so on. But the next minute, fresh, awake and ready to rumble with others. Ape eh maksod agak2? FED-UP SIAK AKU. So much for loving me!! Friday, February 13, 2009 I am missing my boyfriend very very much right now. Btw I didnt watch Titanic for the 3rd time yesterday. Haha. I end up watching some videos about Victoria & David Beckham on Youtube. Her reality show called ' Victoria is coming to America '. I used to be her fan when she was in Spice Girl. Still am her fan though. I was so into her wedding with David at that time. I even borrowed books about her life and stuff. And from her videos, I think she's really funny. And I totally think that they're both are such a lovely and sweet couple. Despite knowing each other for more then 10 years, they are still so romantic with each other. Sweeeeet righttttttttttt?? And oh, David Beckham is so cute. Hahahaha. But my boyfriend is STILL the cutest/hottest/sexiest/most handsome in my eyes though. Hehe. Miss you baby! Cant wait to meet you!!!  Thursday, February 12, 2009 I watched my all-time favourite love movie, Titanic, just now, twice!! Yes twice. Back to back. Hahaha. I guess I will never get tired of watching Titanic. And for the record, I cried both times. -_- So emo or what?? I have no idea how many times I have watched that movie in my life but for sure less then 10 times la. I remembered I didnt cry when I first watch it. As I got older, I don't know why I cried?! Maybe cos now I know the feeling of being inlove and losing someone that I love. Ala easy said mcm feeling the movie la gitu. Haha. And the song literally make me more sad lor. The part that I felt really sad was when Rose had to let go of Jack. Wah. Sedih gilerrrrr. Haix. Ok enough. Btw I think Leonardo look realllllllyyyyyyyyyyy handsome in that movie!!! And I think he look much more handsome then Brad Pitt lor. I used to have a crush on Leo. Hahaha. Ok whatever. I am still wide awake right now. Not even a pinch of sleepyness. The love has been really sweet these pass few days and I don't know why. Mood 'Romeo' da datang agaknye. LOL. Kept telling me how much he loves me. I have no idea how many times he said that this week. Haha. Super sweet. Da sweet, sweet giler. I love you always, Faizrul. Always and Forever. Ok, maybe just maybeeeeeee, Im gona watch Titanic, again. Haha Tuesday, February 10, 2009 I cant sleep!!!!!!!!!!! I've been in bed since 12 and its 2.20am right now! Kept tossing and turning, trying my hardest to get this eyes to shut but I just cant!! Damn it. And for 2 hours plus, while trying to get myself to sleep, I was thinking about alot of things. Maybe my mind was too occupied thats why I cant go to sleep? Cant be. I think the main reason is because Im not sleepy yet! Ok ya anyway, I was mainly thinking about us and this relationship. Haha what's new? I was thinking about how we both know each other, all the shits that we've been through, from the case of the ex, parents, siblings, friends and everything. And next month on the 29 is the day when I met him. So that means I know him for 2 years already. 2 years?? Wow that is fast. Feels like just yesterday I know him. Anyway, since I am so free and bored, I shall blog about how I actually got to know him. And Im warning you. This post is gona be long cos its gona be detailed! Bored, you know what to do. Ok here goes.. jeng3. You wont believe where I actually met him. Hehe. I met him at ............................. Friendster!!! Ar yes. He is actually my friend's friend. I was looking at my friend's profile and I saw his but it was private. So yeah. I didnt bother to add or send him any msg. Forgotten all about it in less than a minute I guess. But this mentel boy send me a comment and a msg telling me to add him up in MSN. So I did. We clicked instantly! Usually first chats are boring cos we dont know each other mah. But this one was different. So he asked for my number and stuff. I actually wanted him to wait but I just gave in. After that I actually forgot about him till the next day he msged me. And so every night was spent chatting with him. Playing pool at Yahoo. Hahaha. Ok nvm straight to the point la eh. I told him about this free party at MOS that was coming soon. Told him I got some extra tixs so if he wanted to go, I can give him and we could go together. Ajak-ajak ayam actually, lol. He just said see first. Then the day before, he msged me asking about the tixs and he wanted to meet me on that night to pass the tixs to him but I told him tomorrow would be easier. So check2, he decided to go. The reason he went was actually to meet me. Hahaha. Cos the tixs can actually be printed from the website. Furthermore he doesnt like to go to free partys cos its always packed like sardines. So we met on 29 March 2007. I passed him the tix and he didnt even say thank you! Grr. After that he met me again to pass or ask for more tixs. Cant remember. Then inside I was with my friends and he was with his. But after awhile we met again outside for some drinks. Me, him and his friend. And from there, we bonded and that was when a beautiful story was created. Actually not so beautiful in the first place. heh. But we still managed to be together till now despite everything. Only and close friends know the real story. Hahaha. And he was not at all those mushy, sweetalker and gentle guy when I know him. The way he talks, the way he treats me. It was....rough. I dont really know why I fell for him. Haha. Maybe opposites attract eh. When we were back together in July 2007, I got to know the real him day by day. And he was much more ignorant, insensitive and dont give a shit about how I feel back then. Yeah. He suck. Haha. He did stuff behind my back. And I was kept in the dark about alot of things. But things changed when he came back from Taiwan. Things got better I guesss. But still, some shits happened. But all is good now. And today, he is definitely not the same guy I know in the first place. He is much more sweeter, much more gentle, much more mushy and much more romantic. And most importantly, he treats me with tender, loving, care. Even though sometimes he still can be a bit ignorant, its still not as bad as last time. He takes the initiative to ask me what I dont like about him every month. So that he can learn from his mistakes and not repeat it in the future. Same goes for me. It took him quite awhile to change into a better person. And Im glad I didnt gave up half-way cos to think back, if anyone treats me now the way he does last time, I won't tolerate and give any chance. So I am glad i stayed! Haha. Any man/woman's JUNK might be another man/woman's TREASURE. Right now, he IS my treasure. And I am gona keep my treasure close to me and I won't let anyone steal it away from me. Cos this treasure belongs to me and ONLY ME. I love you with all my heart, sweetheart.  It took me 1 hour to blog about this? Wah. Its already 3.18am and I probably have to get some sleep. Have to wake up early tomorrow. Sweetdreams people! Monday, February 9, 2009 What past is past. What has already happen, happened. There's no use pondering about it. And I honestly has put that aside long time ago. I used to get angry, irritatated and such when it comes to that particular topic. And I can safely say that I no longer feel that way now.. I mean, its over anyway. And it happened like a year plus ago. But somehow suddenly, Im having that same kind of feeling I used to have months ago. I thought Im over it already?? Something must has happened for me to feel this way....right? We had that conversation these past 2 days. And Im not even sure why we were talking about it out of a sudden. And coincidently, today we found out some other new things. I dont really mind talking about this ' sungguh-tk-important-and-sungguh-tak-perlu ' topic but if it gets too much, I feel irritated. Even though I dont show. And I will start to feel insecure about all this. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way but I cant help it! Damn shit. But Im still ok. Its not as bad as last time though. I used to feel 90percent insecure when I think about this. But now? Probably only around 5 percent. Haha. Ade percent2 lagi! And Im still wondering.. Who was the one who called him a few times but didnt say a word? Suspect besar tu besarnye badak ar. Gut feeling? Oh well.  Same but different. LOL. Im just one call away. And today marks the day where your residential area is not longer Tpy and that means, no late-night chats anymore!!!! *sad face* Who's gona accompany me at night till wee in the morning now??? PS: Cepat2 la subscribe internet!!!! Sunday, February 8, 2009 I wish I am a boy. So that I can do whatever I want and get away with it. Plus I can act all ignorant and not care about other people's feelings. How nice. Thursday, February 5, 2009  Im craving for his hugs. I miss you, Md Faizrul. Cant wait to meet you this weekend, as always. I was born in a family where we dont show how much we love each other. Maybe it's because both of my parents are brought up that way. Kisses and hugs probably dont exist except for when we were still young. But nonetheless, I know my parents love me. I mean, which parent don't love their children? Thus, that makes me who I am today. I am very bad at expressing my feelings. Very very bad. I feel...awkward when I do that. And Im not the kinda girl who will 'manja2' with the boyfriend 24/7. My bf will agree on this one. He even told me that it's hard to 'manja2' with me. But its not like everytime right?? Everysince I met him almost two years ago, I opened up quite alot. And I mean alot. That's what I feel. I used to feel awkward to make the first move to hug him, to hold his hands, to kiss him on the cheeks(still do actually. He always has to ask me for a kiss on the cheeks. Hahaha) to say 'ILOVEU' and many many more. Before him, the longest relationship I had was a month plus. That explains why I was not comfortable doing all that with him. Lack of experience, they say. HAHAHAHA. And I used to keep EVERYTHING in me. Whatever he did that hurt me, I kept it inside. I was afraid to let him know my true feelings. But as months pass, I started to let him know how I feel. And I realised that that makes me feel so much better! So now, whatever that Im not happy with, without wasting any time, I will let him know. About the first moves, well ok. I improved. C'mon, I've been with him for 1 and a half years, of cos I have improved! But I still think I am bad at letting him know how much I love him. I even feel the way I behaved right now, makes he feel unloved by me. Im sorry baby. I didnt mean to do that. I guess I still have so much to work on. I guess time will tell. But you know I love you right, babyku bushuk? Hahahahaha.  ******** On a totally different note, I feel like posting old pictures of me.  Nie zaman2 MOS. Hahaha. Can you believe it? That girl beside me used to be SO AFRAID to go clubbing?! Hahahahahhaa!!!!!!!!! I had to literally forced her to go clubbing with me. There was this time where me, Titi and her sat near Clarke Quay and had to wait for an hr? Just to let her decide her mind whether to go clubbing or not! Hahaha kekek or what!    Last but not least, presenting, DAYA MOHAWK! HAHAHAHAH!!!  My hairstylist did that for me and I tell you, the mohawk was freaking high and big!!! And I dont know what the hell I was thinking when I step out of the salon with this kinda hair!! Hahaha crazy shit. Oh how I miss my blonde hair. Wednesday, February 4, 2009  Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u. And now, ain't nothing else I could need And now, I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me I got you, we'll be making love endlessly I'm with you Baby, you're with me iloveyousomuch,sayangku. PS; I love this song from Beyonce. Makes me feel so high up in cloud9. lol. And the song is dedicated to my one and only,Faizrul. ;) Tuesday, February 3, 2009 Some people just refuse to understand. Oh well. Cos I thought as a friend, you can at least have a bit of understanding with what I'm going through. But too bad, you dont.. I already explain but if you're still stubborn and refuse to talk to me, then its up to you then.. I have been wasting my time reading blogs, playing with my pretty&cute BELLALA and msn-ing. Boring life eh! Hahaha. I wish I got lots of money and a job. At least my time are not wasted doing unnessary things. Hahaha. I seriously miss shopping!!!!!!! Ergh whatever. Anyway, I was blog-hopping and I came across this girl's blog. Below legal age and have a boyfriend. But it seems like the way she blog, she's always the one who has to go over to her boyfriend's place when they meet. At the end of the day, she went home alone without her boyfriend sending her back. But the thing is, the girl live in the east and the guy live in the west!! And everyday the girl is the one who has to travel far to be with someone she love?? Wah. Then what's the boyfriend doing?? Sit at home, shake leg, wait for gf to serve you ar?? Tsk2. Where's the justice man?? Kalau aku, tk sanggop siol. Hari2 lagi! Leh mampos. Now that's what I mean when I say you're willing to waste your time and money to be with someone you love. But i dont get it. I dont see alot of guys doing that. Mostly, the girls are the one who's willing to travel far to meet their partners. Right?? But lucky my boyfriend not terok like that guy. Even though sometimes he tend to nag and give me lotssss of reason when I told him to come down my place, at last dtg jgak. Most of the time. Sometimes I give in and drop by his place. But he still sends me back home though. Only a few times I went home alone. *tongue out* I love this picture. Im not sure why though. Even though both of our faces can't really be seen.  I LOVE YOU, MY BABY FAIZRUL! Monday, February 2, 2009  Its funny how love works. Im still trying to figure it out. Its just too complicated. One minute, you can be so loving with one another and suddenly, the next minute, you'll be fighting like cats and dogs. Worst then cats and dogs infact. And after awhile, you're back loving each other. Weird, isn't it? Love also makes you do silly things that you thought you will never do. Like me, I thought I will never cry over a guy. Why should I in the first place? And I was so sure I will never choose a guy over friends. But I'm guilty for both of it. When you love somebody, you will do just about anything to make them happy. You're just willing to sacrifice everything for the one you love. Money, time, friends etc. You name it. Is this what you called LOVE? Whatever it is, Im still thankful that I got the chance to fell in love, being loved and stay in love. Even though our love is not perfect, we argue over the smallest thing, we made mistakes, we throw hurtful words at each other and such. Im still glad that despite all that, you're still by my side. But i know, I can be a total bitch when Im angry and sometimes feel like giving up in a moment of anger. Oh well. Drama mau lebih eh? Hahaha. The first month of this year wasnt as rosy as i wished. I honestly felt we fought more then before. New year blues kot? I hope february won't be as bad as last month. Anyway sidetrack. I got an interview tomorrow and its at 10am. Oh my gosh. Hopefully i can wake up in time. No hopes for this one though. Sunday, February 1, 2009 ONE WORD. . . . . . . . ERGH! |
    
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