Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Yesterday was my off day. If I know, I would'nt step out of the house. I spent around 200 on things! God. So much for saving!!!!!

First I went to BBDC to activate my account and book my FTT. The earliest is next month on the 4th. No slots for Sep and Oct. Actually to me next month is damn early la. But no choice. So I just took the August slot. Now need to go Popular by the book. Sampai sane I was like blur siak. The first time I went there was with Zul. Beh nie aku g sorang. I was like shit. Got to be independant now.. Do things on my own now.. Sedih per... Nvm. Must have determination. Hopefully I just need to take my FTT once like my BTT. After that can start on my practicals.

After that took cab to Admiralty to meet Aishah at Marsling Poly. She took mc to go out with me. Gitu gini reach town around 5 plus. Straight go Far East. I bought a black jacket from The Best of Blogshops. So many nice things! There was so many clothes from different blogs. Combine together, open shop. Cool right. Then after that had dinner at Sakura. Then jalan2, we bought full length leggings to go with my jacket. Mine was latex. But not so shiny2 one la. Ok2 la. Aishah's was the cotton one. After that we went to Taka and Wisma. Bought one top from Mango, Top from Cotton on, Bra from Cotton on Body, whatelse else? Bought a shoe from Substance. We bought the same pair. Since the second one would be 50% off. Quite a bargain la. Whatelse ar I bought??? Yeah. I think that's all. I can't believe I spent like 200 bucks yesterday. Duit untok saving pon da terpakai. Cibai right me. Met Noh also yesterday. Met him around 9 plus. And also his friend and his gf. Ate near Somerset. The mama shop there. Eat, talk cock. Another one of his friend joined us around 11 plus. Da gitu tkper. Last minute dorang nak g Karoake. Aku pon ar sembarang lah. Ingatkn tk nyanyi. Nyanyi jugak aku. Okla fun. Blah dari Cash Studio around 3. Bla2 reached home around 4. Somehow I feel kinda guilty having fun. Ya call me crazy. Aku rase macam aku kat luar happy2 and Zul kt dlm sedih2. Haiz. But its ok what. Right? Im having all this 'fun' to distract myself and make myself happy. Takan aku nak sedih jer? Sampai biler kan? And I told myself, Zul deserve this. For 2 years, we've been fighting over and over and over again about this. All my naggings all gone to waste. Since die tknak and tk pernah nak dngr ckp aku, den serve him right. Serve him right for playing behind my back all this while. Nak sangat amek dadah kan. Ar amek ar kau. Da kene tangkap, sendiri merana nak nangis2. Too late. Yes. Memang aku sedih, I still cry at night thinking about this but what to do. I can't do anything. Let him have a taste of his medicine. Selagi kepale tk terantok, selagi tu die tak akan stop. Nie kepale da terantok, rasekan lah. Things happen for a reason. I have to keep telling myself that. For now, aku da serahkan kepade takdir.

And if not for the CLEO shit fucking cibai, I could have save 100 bucks. Macam nak hilangkn diri je siol. Die da panggil aku fucking selfish. Nak aku tunjukn per sial akunye betol2 selfish?! Kalau aku betol2 selfish, I wouldnt even wanna bother bout paying you back, BODOH!!! Klah, since kau cakap aku pentingkn diri and selfish, aku tunjukan ape sebenarnye it means k. Senang je. Hilangkn diri and don't pay a single cent!




Monday, July 6, 2009

Everyone is falling sick. At my workplace, that is. Including me! Feeling abit feverish since yesterday but it's getting better today. Plus cough. Da tau batok still makan durian..

Arrr finally, today's pay day. Tolak sane sini tgl a few hundreds only! Need to book my FTT tomorrow. Excited man. Belom dpt lesen da terbayang2 bawak kreter bapak aku. Insyallah everything will go smoothly and I hope I can pass by early next year. Or maybe end of the year? Kalau hari2 pergi prac Ok ar. I have the time. I can go prac before work tetapi..... duit tk cukop plak. Need to put aside around 200 bucks for a month practicals I think. The cheapest I heard is 20 plus per lesson.. See how it goes la. FTT tu kene pass dulu..

I don't know why.. Ever since Zul's not here, I've been dreaming of him ALMOST EVERYDAY. Macam hari2 pon ader. Sumpah tk bedek. Hari2 sak aku mimpi die.. That means im missing him fucking much. Not even one day I don't think of him.. Haiz. Ape agaknye die tgh buat sekarang eh.. Kesian baby aku. Kat sane makan tk sedap. Die tu part makan cerewet skit. Kat sane mesti kotor. Kotor skit jer nanti geli la ape. Abeh kesian die. Die da ader rashes kat tangan die. Harap2 tk makin terok. Pinggang die asyik sakit je.. Every weekend mesti complain pinggang sakit.. Aku lah tolong urutkn.. Kat sane tkde orang nk urutkan die.. Haiz.. Rindu betol la kat tu anak. I really can see the difference without you around..

Die hari2 mesti ader jer story nak bilang. Pasal kawan la, pasal kerja la. Macam2 benda nk bilang aku. Even though sometimes story tu da bape banyak kali die ulang, aku tetap dengar. Skrng rindu story2 die.. And his stupid jokes.. But never fails to make me laugh. For 2 years, I've been laughing to his stupid jokes.. Haiz.. Everytime blog about him, makes me wanna cry. Lagi 13 days, its our 2 years anniversary. How sad.. He's not here with me..
I really pray to God that he's gonna get a short sentence..
And nasib baik throughout his NS, die jarang giler amek mc, conduct kat camp bagos. I hope his officer can recommend good conduct and with that, can minus his sentence.

But I really thank god for giving me this job, at the right time. If not, seriously, I will cry every single day thinking of him.

I can go on and on and on talking about him. But I think I stop here.

Biler la aku nak dapat his next letter????!!!!!!! Tak sabar siak! I told him to write me many2 letters pasal that's the only way the 'rindu' boleh terubat skit..


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Life's OK. I'm coping well. Work was so damn busy yesterday but it was great cos time flies like hell! Next thing you know, its coming to 1am already!! Hari2 gitu bagos gak.

Last Wed on my off day, had a last minute meet-up with Mat Noh and Aishah. Its been sooooo long!!!!!!!! GOD. As usual, go out with them makes me laugh, makes me happy. I feel really comfortable whenever with them. Kinda feels 'home'. We end up taking the first train home. Tak pernah2 k. We also caught I LOVE YOU MAN. Okla the movie. We also had McD for breakfast. The last McD breakfast was with boyfriend... Haiz..

I don't know why, last two days, while bathing, terus melalak dlm bilik air. It was like a sudden. Terfikir pasal die den nangis.

And the touching part was last Wed. I went to follow the family go to Mowbray Camp. Tapi padahal aku tkle masok tau. So near yet so far.. Then da visit sumer, kat rumah tgh tengok tv. Before that dapat surat dari die tpi not for me la. For adik die pasal adik die suruh tulis surat. Yang kecik tu.. Den adik pmpuan die lagi satu g bacekn kuat2 jadi sume dngr. Bla3. Den one part die ckp ' Farhah tkmu gadoh2 dgn kak Daya k. Bilang Kak Daya, abng rindu die '. Aku dngr tu jer, air mate terus meleleh. Beh adik die tengok, die tanyer ' nangis? dala tkmu nangis '.. Infront of the family ok. Paiseh siol. Belom abis lagi.. About 5 minutes later mak die da start bebual pasal visit tadi. Mak die plak nangis.. Die ckp ' Tadi g visit die, die nampak mcm lemah sangat. Mcm nak nangis je.. Die tnyer biler boleh jumpe Daya. Asal lambat nah. Die ckp die takot nanti die kat dlm, Daya g dekat laki lain. Beh aku ckp la kau tkmu fikir bnyk2. Kalau ader jodoh, tak akan ke mane. Kite pon ader call Daya jugak. Farhah dgn yenny kadang2 call. Die pon ader datang rumah jgk. Die ckp die sedih pasal die dgn daya da 2 tahun bla2. '. And some I forget. Seriously touching giler sey.. All the way, mak die nangis sambil ckp gitu.. Aku pon ape lagi. Makin bnyk la air mata jatoh.. Sedih siak. Haiz...

Mak die kasi aku pegang Ipod die, kad atm Zul yang baru dpt die bagi aku. I mean these two things paling important. Beh die kasi aku pegang? Zul pon suruh mak die kasi kat aku. Haiz....

Tkpela. I just go with the flow. I'm just waiting for his court day and after that, I'll make plans about my future...










The Bachelorette

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Daya
I'm a sucker for LOVE.
Not interested in dramas.
Deeply in love with her one and only,
Mohd Faizrul <3