DAYAZUL <3.

As usual, I was being too emotional and sensitive over small things and I tend to think too much thus, the entry. Therefore I have already deleted it. Heh.

But I still won't deny that my Saturday sucks but, he make it up on Sunday and that is today. He told me to wake him up at 9am but he only managed to wake up at 10 but that was after I text his sister to wake him up! Bla3. I reached Wdl around 12. After that we spent our quality time wandering around in Sembawang Shopping Centre, chilling at Starbucks drinking Ice Chocolate ice blend and after that we just spent our own sweet time together. I enjoyed today very much.
Thanks for spending time with me baby. I love you.

So lets rewind what we did this weekend.

On Friday I met him at Wdl. Before that I drop by Town to check out his shoes. And I end up having my mini shopping alone. Haha. I bought a Paris Hilton wallet. I like it. Got bling2. I actually thought of getting a Guess wallet but you know, it is so over-rated. Too many minahs are using Guess stuff. I also bought myself a charm bracelet from Chomel. Ar sales everywhere! Can't resist! Too many stuff, too little money. So sad! And and, I bought myself my first 88 pallete! Hahaha. Nie lah. Banyak sangat tengok makeup tutorial at Youtube. Furthermore its cheap. Only 30 bucks. And I ordered on Thursday and the next day I already got it. Fast right?

After that met him, we went to Club 21 sales near Singapore Flyer but too bad, it was already closed. Both of us was hungry so we went to eat at Fish and Co at Glass house. Damn packed la. Waited around 30 minutes to get a seat! That is the second time for us. Haha yes, second!! After eating, we just spent the rest of the night together.

What about Saturday? Ar... I followed him to Bukit Merah to service his bike. Halfway I met Lyn, leaving him alone at the workshop. Accompanied her to buy some stuff. We bought a Toga for ourselves! Same design but different colour. Haha. After that, end of story. Heh.

I feel so lazy to go to work la tomorrow. Grr. Ar feel so sleepy already. And I can't believe the weekend pass by so fast. Can I rewind back the time? Sigh.
Please, no monday blues for me.

I MISS YOU, LOVE.

My first day of work was good. It was very informal. Just some introduction and stuff. Got to know one of the girls stay near me, so yeah. Can go work together-gether.

We'll be having some training for 5 days before it finally open next week Friday. Training won't be from 4 to 12am though. And this weekend there's no training. Soooo I guess, its gonna be the last weekend where I can enjoy myself. Just hope I'll be receiving the balance amount of money this Friday. Hua3. So boyfriend, please make yourself free!! I know you very busy man right now. *ROLLS EYES DEEP DEEP*. Just make some time for your only gf down here!!!!!! Can or cannot?! Haha pakse eh. But really laaa. Before I start work officially, I wanna spend some time with you. Wait I start work, all that cannot ready you know!! Very susah ready hor.
Somemore you, everytime busy with your stupid idiotic shitass pig thing everyday especially weekend. Cibai. Don't know when I am gonna get some peace. After 2 years, I fucking deserve my long-awaited peace la!

KK fuck it. Just blogging about it makes me mad.

Wah it is so fucking hot la. The ceiling fan has been turning since just now, and I still feel humid. When will the weather be back to normal??

Its only 9pm and I feel like sleeping. But cannot! Cannot miss my ANTM later!

K chow.

On Friday, bf picked me up after he finishes work and back to his house. Bath and yada2, we went to One Fullerton kononye nak tengok this DJ show la. Skali kene trick la pulak. Bukan free. Hehe. But there's always plan B. LOL!

Yesterday me and bf went to Zouk for Above and Beyond. Pack like sardines keper. We reached there at 9 and the queue was like damn long la. Lucky his friend called as he was already near the front if not I don't think we gonna queue for that! Overall OK la. I only like the song 'Can't sleep'. Hehe. Reached home around 6 in the morning. By 12 plus I was already awake thanks to the noisy pack of bikers at my carpark. Damn noisy!! Escort some wedding I guess. Fucking alot sia. And fucking noisy lor.

And to my Bf, I appreciate it that these few days you were trying your best to be really nice to me. Like what you said, pretending that we just dated. Only I spoiled it with my endless mood-swings and unreasonable jealousy. Jealous means sayang ok. Heh. I don't know why la. I guess I am a very selfish gf. I only want you by myself. And that means no other girls is allowed. Even though its your closest girl-friend or whoever. I just don't like it. And you know I fucking love you so much right?

And just now I don't know why, he suddenly tells me if I gatal2 or what behind his back, its over. I was like HUH??? Its like so random and so out of topic lor!!! Nie mesti ader je tapi tknk bilang. Please lor. Macam suddenly. Not weird meh?? Whatever it is, don't worry. I will never do anything behind your back. I am not so heartless to fool around with some guys whom I barely know. We are coming to 2 years baby!!! 2 years you know. My longest relationship ever. I would never wanna do anything that will jeapordise our relationship.

K pictures!

Alright. I better sleep soon. Need to wake up early tomorrow!

I don't know why la kan. Our plans ALWAYS cock-up. Every single time. Mesti adeeeeerrrrrrr jer benda cock-up last minute la ape. And it usually comes from him.

Very very irritated lor.
And today also same. Raining heavily.
God. Give us a break la plz.

And our timing. When he says 3pm means its 4pm plus plus. Never on time. And it really pisses me off la. I hate it when people are late. Because I for sure, always try my best to come on time. I don't know why if I'm late for a few mins or what, I feel very gelisah. I just have to be on time.

Well work is exception. HAHA.

And today, I hope no more cock-ups. And favor boleh? Off your fucking phone. Can I have ATLEAST 1 day of no disturbance from people?? SIBOK JE!

I was telling Mr Faizrul that I am quite worried bout me starting work this Monday. Worried because I am afraid that we will drfit apart. My working hours is from 4pm till 12am. Tell me how do I squeeze in time to meet him? Unless he's willing to meet me after work. Boleh kan Baby????
I mean on the weekends la.

I have blog about me hating changes before. And its actually coming pretty soon. August, the month where Bf will be a free man. And I bet he will be busy with real working life. With his classes 3 times a week for 3 damn long years. Gosh. And I heard stories about couples breaking up after their Bf finishes NS due to changes. Bf work work work becomes tired to even meet up. *Gulp* That's scary.

I have to stop worrying about all this. I don't have any control to stop the changes. So I just have to go with the flow I guess. And if you really love the person, you will have time for them eventually right?

Right??

I just finished vacuuming the whole house. I did that for less then 15 mins and I'm already sweating like pig!
If everday I do house chores, surely less then a month I'll be skinnier then I already am.
Tired siak!

How to marry like that???!!

...

Happy 22 Months to US.

I really can't believe that we have made it this far. It is totally unexpected.
From a simple comment on Friendster to this?
Ya Friendster. How can we not forget that. Hahaha.

This month alone we had plenty of arguments.
Even had a moment of giving up everything that we had.
But I know, deep inside, we still need each other.
And sometimes it does scares me. You've been with someone for so long, how does it feel if one day, things changed? Wouldn't it be scary? Its like suddenly your world crumbles down and you have no idea what to do next.

I know I have broken our pinky promise a lot of times but that incident truly changed my thinking. I will never want that to happen. I keep saying but it doesn't mean anything. Its like you say it out of anger kinda thing.

We have talked about marriage and how we want it to be. You're the first guy I ever talked about marriage, baby. If ever one day we go our separate ways, talking about marriage with somebody else won't ever feel the same.

All I want to say is, I truly love you so much with all my heart and soul.
And you're the one I wanna spend my life with.
I know we can make it till the end. I just know it.
We are just imperfectly perfect for each other.
And we know that we are meant to be together right?

I Love you Md Faizrul <3

Psst! 2 more months to our 2nd year!!

Ya just one picture for all to see. Haha.
Rebel on Saturday was fun. I didn't know Rebel had quota for malay guys eh.. Was shocked lor. I thought only St James do that. But I guess that was a good thing! The number of guys was just nice. And I hardly saw any malay girls down there. -__-

Reached home around 5. I was kinda looking forward to Sunday actually cos I thought somebody is coming back to Singapore. But eventually he didn't. Oh you have no idea how pissed I was.
He eventually reached home just now at 5 plus.
I had totally no mood to meet him cos I was still pissed off.
And what do u expect? He got mad when I didn't wanna meet him!
And you know what he said??
He told me if I'm not meeting him today, I can dream on meeting him the next time.
In other words, HE THREATENED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAH WAH WAH.
Nak main game nie eh you? You sure or not? Once this game start, its never gonna end you know.
And after shouting at me on the phone, he texted me..
' i nak jumpe u'.
Guys!!!!!! Da pekik terlolong pastu nak baik2 eh.
To save all those silly arguments, you can actually just tell me nicely right??
Haiyo. I really don't understand guys.
And you know what? By shouting, it will DEFINITELY make things worse then it is.
Sometimes the fight is about something small, but when you shout, things starts to get out of hand. Emotions run high and you says things that you don't mean.
That is why, every time when he shouts, I won't retaliate cos I KNOW things will get bad.
Especially with his fucking bad temper. Go enroll yourself in some anger management lah!
The morale of the story is, the BEST SOLUTION to settle things is to speak nicely!
Not shout.
Get that in your head Mister.
And he just love to use ' KAU AKU' terms when we fight.
Sikit2 aku kau. Skit2 kau aku.
I hate it to the max la!! You know, it just feels rude.
I mean, I am your gf and you talk to me like that?
My parents had never use that term on one another. Until now, I am still not used to it. I ever told him before never to use that term on me. He stops for awhile and then start back.
Aku rase da biase la kan bebual cam gitu dgn ex badak die, tu pasal dgn aku pon same.
I really hope you stop using that term on me.

And with what you did to me just now, I am gonna punish you!!
I am gonna show the whole world your self-shot pictures yang paling
'step cute giler'!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!

So here it is people!!!
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
..

..

Are you smiling Mr Faizrul??
HAHAHA!!

Padan muke! Hehehe.
He always tell me I no shame take picture of myself.
You pun same lah! 2 kali 5 Dol!!

So in the end I met him. Took cab to Woodland. Wah I didn't know cab fares are mad expensive sia now! To woodland cost him 18 bucks!! Walau. With the peak charges somemore.

And he very sweet, bring me to Gelare to eat waffle with ice-cream!
I wanted to eat Gelare long time ago, only today I got it.
Thanks baby bucuk!!

I love you so much!!

That time yer2 ckp ' kla I balik on Sunday k' but when the time comes, you ALWAYS do the opposite of what you said. Its like you never meant whatever you said.

It has always been that way. You said this but when its time, you don't keep to your promises. I really hate people who don't do what they say. ALL TALK ONLY BUT NO ACTION.

Fucking pissed off siak.

...

I don't get it.

G KL tido dari saturday malam sampai ke sunday petang???????!!!!!!!!!
C'mon man! Isn't that sooooooooooo hard to believe????
Macam seriously lor. Tkle pecaye or what sia!!!

WTH??

Might as well you stayed in SINGAPORE and just sleep.
No need to go KL and waste money just to sleep.
And somemore baru 2 ari kat KL da topup hp 20 bucks.
Msg aku pon baru brape jek.
Tak sampai 10 pon aku rase within this 2 days.

And and, I dreamt 2 dreams last night.
And involve you and in both dreams, you cheated on me.
Is that a hint or what?

Pfft. Feel so angry. Don't know why.

Ps: Lyn, tkmu lupe eh pass gambar. Senang2 upload kt Multiply aku k. :)

CAN'T WAIT TO PARRRRTAAAAY!!

Need to get ready already!

Kiss you goodbye.

Love this pic. :)

The boyfriend has already fly off to KL this morning. He'll be back this Sunday. This Sunday eh! Tkmu melebih balik on Monday plak eh. Kesiankan lah matair kau nie. HAHA.

And my job company cekik darah. Supposed to start training today but those idiots last min text me this morning saying it'll starts on 25 May instead!! GRRR!!!
Partly because of this stupid job, I wasn't able to follow the boyfriend. Oh well. Everything happens for a reason right? Haha.

He is in KL to celebrate his friend's birthday.
Confirm plus chop minum sampai senget.
Confirm plus chop party sampai senget.
Aku sengetkn kepale kau baru tau. Heehee.

Whatever la k. To make me feel better, I'll be meeting Lyn later on.
Not sure we'll be partying or just slack at Town.

Happy weekend people!

I LOVE YOU.

God. That was close. I can actually feel the devastation and it really sucks so much. I would never want that to happen. Never ever.
I really2 can't imagine if it really happened last night. I still need you in my life. :( And I know, you still need me too.

I learn my lesson.

I love you baby.
In fact, I love you so much, no words can ever match how I feel for you.

I want nobody else except you.
Missing you already. Hopefully I can meet you tomorrow for the last time
before you fly off to KL.

And they say, 'you tend to hurt the people you love most.

It happens far too often. Words can deal a fatal blow to a relationship. People say mean and hurtful things, sometimes intentionally, to hurt the person they love the most. Once the words are out, it's impossible to take them back. The pain and hurt is usually entirely too clear in the eyes of the person who was hurt.

Hurting words can come from spouses, best friends, coworkers, siblings, parents, etc. No matter who it is that hurts us, the fact is words can sting with a vengeance. Rather than hold on to something that's done and can't be changed, if we choose to let it go, chances are the relationship will heal and flourish.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep and remains embedded deeply within the heart of the person who was hurt, and they walk away from the relationship. Too often pride stands in between the person who did the hurting and the person who was hurt. Instead of trying to make amends and healing the relationship, pride takes over on both sides, and a once loving relationship is nothing but a memory. It doesn't have to be that way.

When someone has hurt us, it's all too easy to just throw our hands up and walk away from it all. That's the easy way out, but it's also the losing way. You and the person that hurt you both lose out because you lose each other.

***

Girls, will you agree with me when I said guys are just full of EGOS??

Hell yeah!

Every time there's some misunderstanding, I am the one who has to find him. Who has to keep calling and texting every minute. While he? Enjoying the attention and keep feeding on the egos.
In their mind ' see. I know you still come back to me no matter what shit I do to you. So I'll just relax here and let you do all the work '.

When this cycle keeps going on and on, their egos get bigger and bigger until their head is swollen with ego shit. And that thinking that I mentioned above, will stick in their head like glue.

That's why they don't give a shit!

And I really pity myself and all the girls out there who has to bear this. Its totally not fair.

Even though we are hurt and pissed off just like them. Hello? We are humans too. We put all the hurt and shame aside just to make peace. JUST FOR THE PERSON THEY LOVE.
But guys can't and won't do the same. Because of why? Because of their ego.

I don't know when this will end. I wish sometimes I am strong enough like him to not care about other's feelings. But sometimes I wonder, he always wants to make people happy and not hurt. But he actually doesn't mind hurting the one he really love..

And one thing for sure, I think girls are actually stronger then what we think.
No matter how shitty they put us through, we cry and we beg(EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES ITS NOT OUR FAULT TO BEGIN WITH) but in the end,we still managed to stand again on our own two feet.
But when girls do the same to guys, just once, they retaliate by shouting and just start hurling all the vulgarities that they could think of at your face and tell us that they had enough. If you think you had enough, take a look at yourself. How many shit have you ever done throughout our relationship? Did you ever think that at that time,, I felt like I had enough?? What I did can never top with what you have done to me. Even though I had enough, never once I gave up on you. Can't you see that's how much I really love you?? GOD.

LIFE IS SO UNFAIR I TELL YOU.

I can't believe that you even went all the way by calling me names just because I told you do delete it?

Oh my god.

You don't mind destroying whatever we had just for that? Im speechless.
You broke my heart. Those words pierced through my heart like a fucking knife.

I still can't believe it.
Didn't you heard. Hurtful words destroy love.

Congrats. Cos you have officially destroyed the love that we had.

Let me see what I bought on Friday and Saturday.

On Friday meet him so lambat giler. Around 9pm. Yada2 I decided to drop by Mustafa Centre. Reached that place around 12 plus. Grab a perfume, and some toiletries. Reached home around 4 plus.

Next day supposed to meet him at 3pm but that somebody busy giler kn(!!), end up we met around 4 plus. Managed to get myself a shoe from Charles and Keith. That one bf blanja. One box of fake eyelashes. Haha. A top from 4skin. That one also bf blanja. Undergarments. Haha. Mother's Day present. And the rest I can't remember. Had dinner at Newton. I think I spent around 150bucks yesterday. But I can't remember what exactly I did with the money. -___-
But on Saturday, I reached home quite early. Around 2. That's fast for a Saturday. Pasal orang tu kan mcm da penat giler gitukn tapi lepas tu jumpe kawan fresh giler. Sampai alik kol 5. Like I said la kan. Biler part kawan fresh smcm. NVM. ITS OKIE. DA BIASE.

No pictures. I guess I was so engrossed in shopping.

I'm actually dreading for this coming week. I wished the time flies slowwwlllyyyy. Firstly, boyfriend's going to KL this coming weekend. And me being paranoid as ever, is having negative feelings about what he will do down there. Especially without me being around. Fuh. Happy giler la duh! No restrictions. And somemore whatever happened, I won't know la kan. Only GOD knows. And whoever is there, I bet they will keep their mouth shut if anything happens. Sorry la. I always think of the negative rather then the positive. I can't help it especially when all those people coming are the BIGGEST SETAN ALIVE. You will feel the same if you're me. TRUST ME. Unless you're a minahrep who don't mind anything. Tak paham sudah.

Secondly, I will start working. Feels so lazy out of a sudden. HAHAHA. That's natural. Da sedapkn dok rumah abiskn beras jek. Wakakaka.

Ergh. I'll just hope some kind souls will accompany me throughout the coming weekend. No. Not to accompany me because I'm lonely. Accompany me so that it will keep my mind off from thinking too much!

And oh I forgot. I just wanna wish all mum's Happy Mother's Day.

I love you Mama. I know you won't give up on me no matter how lazy or how useless I am. And even though sometimes you say things like you don't care bout me anymore cos you're mad at me but I know deep down, you still care. I love you so much MuM!!!

Let me tell you 2 of my worst pet peeves when going out with someone.

No 1.

The person is constantly on the phone. Non-stop yakking. Non-stop messages. And when you talk to the person, he or she totally ignores you cos too busy concentrating on the phone. This is extremely irritating!! Feels like taking the phone and dump it in the dustbin. Might as well I go out alone. Bloody hell.

No 2.

Going out with someone who has not enough rest on the day before. Meaning no energy. He or she became so fidgety, like can't keep still. Feeling so restless. To make it worse, you already know you're tired but you still wanna drink and you know by drinking, you feel much more tired and sleepy. But kepale batu right still wanna drink. Then my fault ar you're tired?? And when its time to eat, he practically fall asleep!!! Wah. Darah menyirap babe.

No 1, I'm not sure if I still have to patience to tolerate the shitx. No 2, DA BIASE DA. But still make my blood boil everytime single time.

Anyways, I did a lot of shopping yesterday. Okla boleh tahan. Some of it boyfriend blanja. Tell you what I bought on my next post. Hahahahahaha.

The weekend is here. But sadly I guess this will be the last weekend we can spend the whole day of Saturday together as I'll start working next Friday and he's off to KL the same day. How nice. Tell me about it... And I don't think I'll be getting the weekend off. Sad.. But what to do. Sometimes you just have to sacrifice..

So yeah. Do me a big favor. Stop being so moody will you?

I just wanna spend this last weekend with you, happily..

Seriously, where can you find jobs which will pay you even BEFORE you start working?
Weird but damn right its true!

I am deprived of shopping. Really. Its been more that 5 months I got myself things.
Time for shopping!! But not so much la. I better limit myself. Need to get only the necessary things like...

.fake eyelashes! (most important, haha!)
.a few tops.
.toiletries
.a shoe?

and maybe some other things which I'll figure out later.

And since I'm gonna start working, I think I might register my PDL soon. Ever since I passed my BTT in Sep last year, I had never taken any pratical yet. Lucky no expiry date.

And most importantly, I need new hp. OK enough. If I continue talking bout what I wanna get, its never gonna end. So yeah.

One more thing, I don't get it. I thought couple share problems? Quoted from you.

And now I wanna help, taknak la ape. When one is in trouble, the other one help la of cos right? If can help, help la. Dono la. Must be the ego la, whatelse.

Guys and their ego. Irritsx!!

I Need You To Know I Miss You; Pictures, Images and Photos

So on Friday itself which was bf's birthday, before I went to his place, I pick up the cupcakes I ordered through the net. Pictures will be uploaded when I am not lazy eh. Sorry. Ya anyway, I waited at his lift lobby when in actual fact I told him I wait for him downstairs. It was all a last minute plan to go up. I actually didn't know how to surprise him. Haha. When he arrived, I told him to close his eyes and I present him his birthday cupcakes. Gave him the hand-made present which I make myself.

Around 6 we zoom off the Downtown East to have dinner at Sakura. Dinner was ok but not that great. So many people and I didn't really feel hungry though. Should have eaten at Fish n Co. Anyway we left after eating only for 1 hour. Head down to Marina Square, jln2. Lastly we decided to buy some drinks and chill at Esplanade. Our usual spot since last time. Talked and crap for almost 3 hours?? How time flies when you're with someone you love huh? I was home by 5. I guess we were still tired from partying on Thursday.

Next day was Saturday. Met him around 6 7? Can't remember. Head down to Town to buy his belt. After that, Bugis to change the slippers. Had dinner at Tong Seng. Wanted to go to ECP to chill den budak tu fickle-minded kan, so we changed to Spore Flyer tapi tu pon tk jadi pasal hujan turun. End up you know where we lepak? Beside Cineleisure, outside California Fitness. Kwang3. The weather was damn hot la that night even though it was raining. Da panas sangat kan, kite masok Cine jln2 skejap. After that, spend some time alone. Around 4 plus, it was still raining, and I was feeling hungry so I suggested that we eat Mcdonald's Breakfast! Yum yum. Da lame ku tk makan big breakfast die. Sedappppp! We settled at Bukit Timah's McD. Talk2, eat sampai la pukol 6. Home sweet home.

Walau. I feel like my entry so draggy sial. Hahaha. Trying to make the entry sound happy. Memang happy pon. Just spending time with the person you love. Nothing is better then that. I really enjoyed my weekend with you. No doubt bout that.

But somehow I feel so down right now? No idea why. I hate feeling this way. Its like something is bothering you. The more you think bout it, the more shitty you feel.

Sometimes you feel like you are caught between two. But right now its about trust. To trust or not to trust. That is the qs.
Tak percaye, salah. Percaye pon salah. Amcm ckp? I know I sjekap bebual in malay, later in english. Sorry la for this rojak entry.

Ergh. Whatever la kan.
All I want in this relationship is to be Happy. I am sick of fighting over things like this.

Maybe its just me. Maybe I still have my doubts.
Sometimes it is best when you know nothing. Cos the truth hurts. And its definitely heartbreaking.

At this point of time, I really can't wait to start working, earn some money, go out and have fun with friends, making new friends and get busy. And stop caring so much cos I learn that caring too much for someone is no good. It makes you paranoid, uptight and it is really stressful. Especially when the person don't give a hoot about your feelings. And I wanna stop giving a shit to the shits that is happening right now. You can lie your way through but I believe God is fair. And one day you will get what you deserve. What goes round, comes around.

Just stop lying to me. I can't take this shit anymore la fuck. Whatever you're doing right now, I have stop saying anything. And so with that, you wanna take advantage??

Keep sweet talking to me so that I will believe you?

Gimme a break will you?????!!!!

Happy 22nd Birthday Babyboy!!!

I am already awake from my sleep. Geez that's fast. Reached home around 5am yesterday. We went partying at Rebel yesterday! Just the two of us. Haha. Its been a loooong time we partied together alone. We used to do that last time. Ar miss it.

Anyway Rebel was fun. But Zirca was much more fun!! Finally la. I didn't know we can enter Zirca with just one chop. And oh, boyfriend treated us to this drink. He very bad you know! I don't know what's the name called. OK I already googled it and apparently its called Flaming Lamborgini?

Yeah it looked like this.

What a deadly drink that was!!!!! It slowly creeps inside you and then boom! I was veryyyy tipsy like hell from 3 till I reached home. Gosh. Somemore I am sucha bad drinker. Lucky never puke.

Ape nie? Dienye birthday, die yang buat aku mabok. Bloody hell.

Ok can't wait to meet the birthday boy later!

Daya I'm a sucker for LOVE. Not interested in dramas. Deeply in love with her one and only, Mohd Faizrul <3

I know you want me,you know I want you too.

Lovers and Fighters Since 20th July 2007