DAYAZUL <3.

I hate waiting!
I hate waiting for hours and hours until I feel so sleepy, I want to sleep!

Nowadays, guys siap more lembab then girls siak. Serious shit. I don't even know what the hell they do. Need to put on make-up is it?? Need to blow dry den straightened or curl your hair ar?

Just wear and go la! Haiyo. Like that also can take 1 hr ar??!!

K chill Daya, chill!!

Today is not the time to be petty ok. I just want to be happy and have fun.

On a happier note, we are going to Cold Rock Ice Creamery later! I've been wanting to try out their ice-creams. I already check out their website. See! Semangat right. Haha. So many choices of ice-creams and toppings! Can't wait. There's waffles too! Yum Yum.

Kla. Enjoy your weekend people!

Somebody's turning a year older in 24 hrs time!
Talking about birthday, I found out that MY birthday falls on the 3rd day of Hari raya!!!
How cool is that!! First time leh my birthday on Hari Raya. Hahaha.
But good thing is, its not fasting month. Not like last year. That means can party la?!
Anyway why am I talking bout my birthday??
Still got 4 months to go la!

I'm actually missing my boyfriend right now.
Last week only get to meet him on Friday and Saturday. Tu pon around 6 hrs each?
I miss him kissing my cheeks and hugging my real tight. Haha.

You know, sometimes I feel like I am so lucky to have him.
Even though he is not perfect, I know I'm not either,
but we certainly fit to be together.
We do get on each other nerves, sometimes even feel like slapping one another but fortunately
nothing like that has ever happened in our relationship.
And I hope, it will NEVER EVER happen.

What I am trying to say is, I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

We may not be perfect but we are perfect together.

I honestly can't wait to meet him la.
Baby, meet me eh!!! *show muke kesian*

I really really miss you.

current status missing his kisses Pictures, Images and Photos

Ok now I'm confused. Which one should I go for?

Both on the same day! But the first one starts at 9 in the morning while the other one I can come between 10 to 4pm. But I am not sure the first one finish what time. Who knows it takes the whole day?

But the second one, I'll confirm get. The first one I am not sure but they ask to bring my bank book and a whole lot of documents. Hmmmmm... But by the looks of it, the first one is a much more stable career but never have I thought I will be working as that one day!! Should I try????

If I ask my parents, of course they will choose the first one. Same goes to the boyfriend. Hmmm..
But I scared la! Cos I don't think I suit for that kinda job.. Don't know the uniform got my size or not. Haha.

Maybe I go for both?? We'll see.

I guess I won't be looking forward to the weekends anymore?
Cos something has taken away our quality time together and it makes me feel so irritated
and annoyed to the max.
But I'm trying to keep my cool.
Argh. Won't go into details.
Sick of it. Period.

I feel like partying with the gfs!!!!
Its been AGESSSSSS!!!!!! Goodness.
I don't even remember when was our last ladies night?
Oh I think I remember. Dbl O right?! That was last year April??
Lame per??

Biler gaknye eh kite nak g dancing2 same2 lagik??

I've been hit by rashes!

My body is starting to itch.
Like got small2 bites dot like mosquito bites on my hand, my body and even under my armpit! Hahaha.

Even my face!!
But my face not small2 bites ok. Big big one! Haiyo! Why start now??
Padahal I ate prawns in the afternoon!
And I didn't know I am still sensitive to prawns.
No wonder I get stomach pains yesterday and today. (I ate prawns also yesterday. Padahal 2 only!)
Even right now I'm having stomach pains.

How to go out like that??
Boyfriend is coming to pick me up around 9 later.
Grr.

Leceh betol la.

I was reading back some msgs and suddenly this 'topic' popped out from my mind.

I was thinking..
Which one is worst?

Someone being pysically abused? or..
Someone being verbally abused?

But from my opinion, I think both are equally painful to go through? The hurt from physical abused can be seen by the naked eyes but verbally can't be seen. The damage is internal, they leave no scar or bruises,just a wounded spirit and sense of self-esteem.

Let me give you an example. Taken by a research from google. Heh.

Being called names by your spouse. Any negative form of name calling is unacceptable. If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is. There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. Then there are the covert, veiled attempts to put a spouse down that are harder to identify. Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a spouse down. If your spouse is constantly criticizing you, “for your own good,” be careful. This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse.
Using words to shame. Critical, sarcastic, mocking words meant to put you down either alone or in front of other people.
Yelling, swearing and screaming. I call this the “walking on eggs shells” syndrome because you are living with someone who goes verbally ballistic for very little cause.
Using threats to intimidate. No threat should be taken likely, even if your spouse tells you they are only joking, especially if it causes you to change behaviors or to feel on guard in the relationship.
Blaming the victim. Your spouse blows his/her top and then blames you for their actions and behavior. If you were only perfect they wouldn’t lose control!
Your feelings are dismissed. Your spouse refuses to discuss issues that upset you. They avoid discussion of any topic where they might have to take responsibility for their actions or words.
You often wonder why you feel so bad. You bury your feelings, walk on egg shells and work so hard at keeping the peace that every day becomes an emotional chore. You feel depressed and have even wondered if you are crazy.
Manipulating your actions. The persistent and intense use of threatening words to get you to do something or act in a way you find uncomfortable. This form of verbal abuse is common at the end of a marriage. If your spouse doesn’t want a divorce they will say whatever it takes to play on your emotions, to get you to stay in the marriage. All in an attempt to get you to comply with their desires, regardless of what is best for you as an individual.

I don't know why I very the semangat go research. Haha.

But really, I find this really interesting. Because some are happening to people around me, you-know-who la eh. Haha. Some even has happened to me?? Hahahahha. But not so bad la kan. Like screaming and swearing and all. Saying mean words to each other. I guess the worst I've been called was ' fucking stupid '? And I swear it hurts damn lot. Ya aku sissy! Skit2 tk boleh kene. But if being called ' sundal, cheap, slut ' by your own boyfriend, is seriously not a small matter. Cos I find that FUCKING RUDE TO THE MAX and tak boleh dimaafkan!!!!!!!! Never!!! Ya, SERIOUSLY. Being angry is definitely not an excuse to called people rude names like that.

How could your own boyfriend called you that???

Well, I guess most victims of verbally abused is woman. Sometimes they don't even realised that they are being abused.. Oh well.

Did you guys experience any strong wind just now??

The wind was so strong, a few bikes toppled against each other at my carpark!! And mats(not matrep eh) and clothes were flying around. Gosh! It was damn scary la! I felt like Singapore was having some kinda natural disaster. Wah damn scary la!

And after a few minutes, boyfriend msg me the same thing. The wind was damn strong there. I guess the wind must have traveled to Bukit Panjang. So scary!

Anyway notice any different here? Haha. I change my layout! And for the first time ever, I know how to use layout from blogskins. Ya I know I damn slenger la. No wonder I can't do it last time. Cos my template wasn't classic. -__- So stupid right. Yeah I know. Its damn plain but I think I like it. Its my first time anyway. Okla kan..

And oh, I can't believe what happened just now in the evening. I should have closed my door. I didn't know my dad could hear it. Gosh.
After that I guessed it right. Mum msg me. K whatever.
I know you won't understand what am I talking about.

I just finished reading the malay newpaper ' Berita Harian '. There's this article about 'Usahawan Baru'. And a picture of the business woman. I realised that she is one of the apprentince in Jean Yip. She was in the batch before me. Wow. That is amazing la! She has her own salon somewhere in the East and she also have a private salon in her terrace house. Cool shit.

I guess she must be one of the most successful apprentince in JY. But come to think of it, if you have the money, you can achieve anything you want. You need atleast 10k and above to open up a shop. You need a few thousands to take up a Diploma in Hairstyling. She's lucky to have rich parents. Anyway all the best to her. And oh, she's only 22!

Talking about hairstyling, I haven't even get my Certificate till now. Hello? I graduated in 2007 for goodness sake. Pfft. But I am not sure if I need it anyway cos I don't have any plans to go back to doing hair. But my friend say just take it. Who knows one day I might reconsider. But I am not sure if ITE still have my cert though. I think they throw my cert already la. Haha.

Reading that article make me realise that even at this young age, you can be successful but the problem is, I still don't have any plans on what should I do in the future. Pfft.

I really hope I'll get that job. The person said there's 80percent chances that I'll get it. I don't mind the working hours. Limit2 tk suke, carik keje lain after 3 months. I just want a freaking job. And that's it!

You have no idea how much I miss shopping using my OWN money.
You have no idea how much I miss wasting money on unnecessary things.
You have no idea how much I miss going out with a few hundreds of cash in my wallet. ( I don't even use my wallet now. )
You have no idea how much I miss treating the boy to dinner or movies or whatever la!
I miss all of that!!!! Sedih ar!!

Call me as soon as possible pleaseeeeeee!

I think my room is in a mess!! Da sedap for almost 20 years of living, my mum was the one who make my bed everyday and now I am not working, I don't even make my bed la!! Not only my bed. My computer table, my dressing table is messy with stuff! Gosh. I maybe the laziest daughter ever. But I don't think so la. Surely there are some other girls worst then me!

What shall I do tomorrow? I'll probably be having a movie marathon alone at home. Haha. Borrowed some cds from boyfriend.

And talking about boyfriend, we had a talk about our recent fight a few days ago. But I am still not satisfied. I can never be satisfied. Haha. After all I've been through for this rlship, I know I deserve better then this. No I am not saying he sucks. He is the best boyfriend I ever had. And he is definitely way better then the first time I knew him. Thank god for that cos if not, I would probably have given up long time ago. lol.

So I know I deserve better care from you.. Inside and outside.
I already gave my heart to you. I trust you to handle it with care and not break it.
You know my heart is fragile right.

Whatever it is, I still love you Faizrul.

Love is like a flower; with proper nurturing it blooms and flourishes as each day passes.
Yet, if it is neglected, in a moment's time it soon withers and dies.

To hold love, you must treat it as a rare and tender flower, nurturing it with the utmost patience and care.
To keep it vibrant and alive it takes many long hours of continuous effort and constant attention.
To lose it takes only a moment of of forgetfulness, disinterest and mistrust.
To sow the seeds of love is as wonderful as sowing the seeds of magnificent garden, and watching them flourish and grow is a marvel in itself.
To sow the seeds of love only to watch them wither and choke, like a garden that's become full of weeds, is a crime of the heart that none should commit.

Love can last an eternity, like the gardens of a forbidden tropical paradise, yet, in an instant, it can be destroyed by a hurricane of hate, in a sea of bitterness and despair.

Before I forgot, again,

HAPPY 21ST SAYANGKU!

Love is life.
And you are the light to my life.

I love you always, Md Faizrul.

As a human, you tend to judge people just by looking at them. Those wearing geeky specs and look so nerdy, you tend to assume ' oh, he/she is a nerd. Must be innocent '. Right?

Sometimes its not true. Who knows this 'nerd' actually is a drug addict? You never know.

Ok the morale of the story is, I can't believe my eyes when bf told me that yesterday! Hoho. I honestly think that maybe among all his friends, he's one of the few people whom can be trusted cos he looks so decent nonsense. Can be trusted means that I can trust him for not being the 'setan' who does nonsense together and such. But jeng3. I am so wrong la! And like damn stupid la at this age, you wanna try something new that can destroy your life. I wonder what these people think eh. Trying to fit in or what? Gosh. As long as you're happy. And as long as you don't drag other people along when you're in trouble sudah eh.

Anw yesterday I was already home by 2am. We were literally clueless on what to do yesterday. We just walked around Town aimlessly, after that sat near Paragon, listening to live music and talk. Had dinner at Bk Cine and yah. Back by 2. Now I very the lazy pig to bath and travel to Wdl. So Mr Faizrul being the sweetest ever will be coming down later evening. Hehe.

Arr 1 more weekend and its you birthday! Baby, I got nothing for you ar this yr. Sorry. :( Hehe..

Arr no wonder I've been feeling shitty and gets irritated with everything and anything this past few days..

I'm sorry dearest Boyfriend.
Despite me being such a bitch, keeps getting angry at you for nothing,
you were still so patience with me.

I really didn't mean it when I said ' tk suke leh jln'.
Cos the fact is, I can't imagine life without you.

I Love You So Much Sayangku Faizrul.

I just hope what I am feeling right now, is just a passing-by feeling.
By tomorrow or maybe later, it will be gone.

I don't know why my mind keep thinking about the past.
It just sucks thinking about all those things that I went through, because of you.

I am such an emotional wreck.

YOU BETTER STOP TALKING TO HER
USING THAT GROSS BABY VOICE OF YOURS.

OR I'LL START TO HATE THE BOTH OF YOU!

fucking cb.

Ps: More in LJ.
PsPs: And tell her to stop sleeping at your house with some other dudes then at 6 in the morning, take pictures on the bed, surrounded with 3 topless guys. Suke per??
shameless bitch.

I feel so bad and guilty.
I feel so bad for not being a good friend.
I feel so bad for not being there for her.

I'm sorry for being the worst friend ever.

I miss you alot. I miss going out with you, having fun, clubbing and doing all sorts of things we used to do.
I really do.

I miss you, Aishah.

I Love You,
Md Faizrul Bin Jaffar.

And I miss you.

Ps: The post below was written in a moment of anger but some things are true though. Heh.

Sometimes its the little things you do that makes a difference.

I give you one example. Making the effort to wish each other goodnight every night. Its a simple task. Just a call or a msg away. It probably take you less then 5 minutes to do that. But with just that one msg, it can bring a smile to your face.

I just wanna say that this little things in life do make a difference.

And sometimes when I feel down, unhappy or angry, I just need a listening ear or better, reassuring words from you. But sometimes, all you did was to ignore my msgs and pretend that nothing happen.

That is one of the little things that makes me wonder, do you really have my back? Can I really count on you to be there for me when I need someone?

Because so far, I've never been in a situation where I really needed you to be there for me. Maybe once or twice, I remembered. Once was in Taiwan, where I actually msg you alot of times to call me cos I really miss you or I felt that I really need you at that point of time. But you didn't. Second was when we had a tiff. I told you that I was always there for you when you need someone but when it was my turn, you just leave me just like that all by myself.

I wonder.. is this relationship all about you or about us?

On Thursday, met him around 7 8 plus? I actually forgotten that the next day he was not working as it is public holiday mah. Cos he suggested going to .. omg where ar? I forgot siak. Hahahaha. Short-term memory per siak aku? LOL. So anyway, around 9 plus, boyfriend got a call from Tyco, telling him to book a room at ECP. I thought it was such a last minute, surely no room. But surprisingly got la. He wanted a single storey but it was not available, so he has to take the double storey room. And so, it was a last minute plan for the both of us. But okla kan. We stayed till the next day. 1130 had to check-out. Just a few pictures. The rest, as usual. And and, me very the malas to edit.

Sorry for the blur and smokey photos. The room was fucking full of smoke. I seriously felt like I was in those smoking rooms at clubs. Tk boleh tahan siol!!

The next day, had a couple hours of sleep, after that met my sweet boyfriend, again, around 7 plus at night. We head down to Town cos Mr Boyfriend wanted to shop. Bought himself a top and a perfume. He also bought me a shirt. Its been a long time I got a new top. Haha.

On Saturday, we met around 3 plus. The journey to VivoCity was damn challenging la. It started to rain halfway. Had to stop at the gas station twice ok. One at Jurong, the other one was at Buona Vista. Bf so kecian! The whole tshirt and pants plus shoes were all wet!
Reached Vivo, we quickly start to survey all the shops. Boyfriend bought 2 more tshirt from Pull & Bear. After that, bought food at Burger King and off we went to Sentosa. My boyfriend very the semangat la kan. Wanted to watch Jazz by the Beach at Sentosa.

Here's the photo from Saturday.

I think Md Faizrul looks really hot with that newly bought top. Hehe. Tkmu kembang eh pleaseee.. hahahahaha.

Last but not least, my favourite photo of the week. I know my forehead very wide. Boyfriend always tease me bout my forehead. Padahal die pon same. Hahaha. And I didn't edit this photo. There wasn't a need to cos the morning sun was the natural flash. And my neck and face same colour right. So okla tu.

I had so much fun on Thursday, Friday and Saturday! I wished it was like that every week. Kan best kan! eh eh eh? Haha. And now, welcome back to reality. Ergh. Bosan or what?

Mr Lover is starting his classes tomorrow. He thought last week but actually not. Hopefully, I'll get to see him on Wednesday. Must atleast meet once on weekdays. Kwang3.

Ok la. I have finish updating.

To my dearest BONBON(hehe), please do some sit-ups. Get back your six pack please. You look more hotter and sexier den 1 pack la. Hahahahaha!
But don't worry, I STILL LOVE YOU BABY!

Md Faizrul, you are one lucky biatch to have an understanding gf like me.

**

I am home early on a Saturday night because bf had some things to settle. Pfft. A reminder to you eh. Doesn't mean I let you do all this, I agree ok!!!!!!!!! I am still trying to take this in for fuck sake!! ERGH!!!!!!!!

So right now, I am wasting my time blog-hopping, Facebook-ing and playing games. I wish I have the memory card! Can upload pictures. What a waste. Nvm. There's always tomorrow.

Eh tkpela. Aku tkde mood la nak blog. Bye ar!!

What a dramatic Thursday!

I just got home from Ty's chalet. It was fun. Fun watching drunkard people making a fool of themselves. Damn entertaining, I tell you. Hahahaha. So.Much.Drama

Drama coming from girl. Drama coming from boy.

Just a few advice, from now on choose your friends wisely please. It was kinda shocking to see that coming from you. Something new for me.
And a phrase you always say to me ' always look on the bright side of life.' So now, whatever that has happened, let it pass. Take this as a lesson. You are coming to 22 in less then a month. It's definitely time for you to choose which one is right, which one is wrong, for your own good.

And for a change, put yourself first before others. And never ever expect people to have the same thinking as you. Everyone is different, dear. I tau you niat baik, tapi kalau orang tu fikir lain, you can't stop them kan? But its sad that the person was your closest friend. It is sad knowing that you know him for years but in the end, this is what you get for being a good friend? Not worth it.

But whatever it is, I am always here for you, baby. You should know that by now. And since its so hard for you to differentiate the good from the bad, I can always help you in that too.

Oh well, I can only advice but in the end, its your choice.

K chiow. Me wanna rest!

I can't believe some people can be so childish and immatured despite their age.

One advice la eh, betolkn perangai dulu sebelum nak kahwin eh please!

A short update before I sleep.

We went to Sakura at Clementi Woods to celebrate Mum's Birthday. I had a very very fufilling meal just now. My tummy felt like exploding after that! I didn't eat anything before the dinner so you can probably guess how hungry I was by then.

Got to wake up early later. And I have to go or else another nagging session from Md Faizrul. Heh.

Goodnite world!

Ps: Maybe I can understand his situation right now but it doesnt mean I agree with what you're doing. Remember that. I just hope to get it over and done with as soon as possible.

Friday

Boyfriend picked me up from work, as usual. I know I am sucha pampered girlfriend. Always asking him to fetch me from home. Hehe. And the good thing is, he always give in. That is why I sayang you! Went back to his house, waited for him to bath and bla3. Went to Town. It was unexpected cos we rarely goes to town on Friday night. His plan was to jalan2 but end up we chilled at Ben n Jerry at Dempsey Hill with Manazil and Yanti. It was so unplanned. Even the meet up wasnt planned. And I didn't know ice-cream at B&J cost a bomb. We ordered apple pie with ice-cream and waffle with ice-cream with one cup of tea. It cost him 30 bucks? Honestly, I think that was such a waste lor. But nvm. Da mkn pon ice-cream! After that, we had our own sweet time together. Huhu.

Saturday

Work from 5 till 11. Even had a mini fight with him before we met. And yeah, its my fault la I know. Im sucha pig! After work, went to newtown for BBQ chicken wings and cockles! Yum yum. We spent like almost 2 hours there, eating and craping.

Sunday

Had another fight before we met. I am not sure whose fault was it anyway. I even shed a couple of tears because of this. Ya me crybaby. Nothing's new. Atlast, meet jugak kan.

And so tomorrow will be a whole new chapter for him and maybe for me too as he will be much busier then before. No more meet ups on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Cos he will be starting his night classes by tomorrow. Honestly, I feel a pinch of sadness. Yeah of cos I am happy that he is studying again but a part of me feels sad.. Oh well. A man got to do what a man got to do. This is just the beginning of changes, I guess. Just 3 more months and he will be a free bird. After that, here comes the REAL world. Gosh. It DOES sounds scary. I hate changes!!

And I can't believe I managed to be with him throughout this whole 2 years of his NS life. Still am. And what makes it more interesting was that, we fought over a third party, not coming from me but him? Arrrr life. You never know what you'll be getting.

Tomorrow is my Mum's birthday. Dad took half day just for this. I am not sure where are we celebrating my mum's birthday. Sorry mum. No present from me. :(

Talking about birthday, boyfriend's birthday is less than a month. How wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ERGH! Money, money please fall from the sky.

Editted/

I really really hate the fact that he is still in this shit. I've been tolerating for what? From the day we got together till now?? 2 fucking years. And he fucking knows that I fucking hate it but yet he does nothing. You know but you don't even care?? He even does nothing to stop it. You got a choice. You can either choose to continue or totally ignore it. Fuck you la. This seriously is a fucking big deal to me. Go and find some minahrep who won't mind all this shit. Infact I think she will join you in this. I truly had enough of your nonsense. I already sent you a text, giving you a piece of my mind. So now its up to you which one to choose.

I will never ever text you like what I texted you in

5 in the morning just now.

I feel like a stupid bloody fool waiting for your reply.

Never again.

I had my cockles with sambal belacan, baby kalian with beef and my chilli crab. Yummay!

So right now, I'm full and definitely a happy girl!

Ps: I miss him.

I can't believe we quarrelled because of something pathetic.
2nd time in a row.

PATHETIC SIAL.

Ok finally. The photos can be uploaded.
The rest of the photos is at Multiply.

On the day itself, he fetched me at 9pm. YES. 9pm! He followed his friend to JB. Saturday, you will definitely expect the traffic to be jam packed with bikes right? Ikotkn hati, bingit nk mampossssssss! But I calmed myself down cos I don't want to ruin the night.

First stop was Far East cos the boy wanted to buy drinks. By 1030 I was getting really restless. Cos I felt that we were late.

Boyfriend and me sabo-ed the birthday girl by surprising her with Waterfall. Haha. Its actually the boyfriend's idea and I thought why not right. Haha. Member geram jek. Wakaka.

This one was boyfriend's idea. He asked the waiter for a shot glass, fill it with whisky and made Lyn drink it up. Kesian birthday girl. She just came back from vomiting and complained that her nose hurts. Beh skali kene suruh minom lagik. Hahaha.

Last but not least, MY FAVOURITE photo of the night.
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HAHA! Cantik kan the background??!! Aku suker skali!

Overall, I enjoyed the night. The songs playing was RNB. What's not to like?? It felt like DBL O only the difference was that the dance floor are not packed like sardines. We still have space to turn and twirl and whatever. Best!
And oh, no minah and mats. More best! Haha.

Boyfriend kept saying that he really misses dancing with me on the dance floor. Heeheee.

Rebel next pleaseeeeee.

PS:I MISS MOHD FAIZRUL!!

Daya I'm a sucker for LOVE. Not interested in dramas. Deeply in love with her one and only, Mohd Faizrul <3

I know you want me,you know I want you too.

Lovers and Fighters Since 20th July 2007