DAYAZUL <3.

Time: 4.02am

Just finished watching Mean Girls. My sleeping time has changed so bad. I always sleeps around 5 6 or 7am nowadays. But luckily still manage to wake up in time for work.

Work was OK just now. Khafiz and Kama went home early today because they were on morning shift. Luckily I still have these 2 guys or else, I'll be bored to death. And Yaya came around 8 to study. So damn lucky she came lor! She went home around 11 and I was left all alone. And that kuku new receptionist really gets on my nerve man seriously. She's a bit mentally disable, I think. I mean, normal humans don't behave like her! Wanted to go off at 12 but I stayed till 1am in the end. Tomorrow's another day. And I have like 11 days of leave to clear.

I need to save atleast 800$ by Sep and I know I can do it. I spend less then 20$ for the past 2 weeks, you know! And that's amazing I tell you!! All I need to do is save on food and not go out after work. And I feel like getting a camera. Panasonic LX3 to be precise. Its a camera but the pictures are so damn clear like DSLR. And you can even attach the that big thing that can zoom and stuff. I'm not sure about the price but I think its around $600 to $700. Gonna try and save and get it in Sep. Just in time for Hari Raya too!

And I got like 3 more pays to save all that. Can you imagine?! Fuck. I should have started at the beginning of this year. Fuck la! Stupid siak!! And don't even get me started about my car practicals. Its basically going down the drain. Haiz!! All I have to do now is to cut down on my shoppings. And unnecessary stuff like cab fares or magazines and whatever shits la. And I guess June will be easy cos somebody's gf is coming to town thus no more late night out for us. Quite glad though. Save money. :X

So today's Monday. Another week to tahan till pay day. Can't wait for Wed!!! Time to meet my sweetest sin. Missing that boy like always! 3 more months left people. I'm so glad is coming to an end soon. If you were to ask me to go back to 11 months back, I rather shave my head botak man. Tak larat dong!!!!! Gosh. 11 months back was hell shit.

Alright. Think I'm gonna stop now. Beginning to have headaches now. Have a good week people.

You know what? I don't give a flying toot anymore.

I can see a pattern actually. I mean, its not like as if the pattern started recently. Its been like this since I've known you.

When you're down and single, it's me you find. But when you got somebody else new, you totally, I mean TOTALLY forgot me. What's new huh?

When you text me, I always reply ASAP. But you? You take a day to reply my one msg. Sometimes even ignored me.

The guy you are with now, you known him only a few months but broke up like thrice?? When he left you twice, sape kau carik?? Skrng da dngn die balik, wah... Lupe terus.

Fine. By all means. If this is the way you're treating me, I'm OK with that. But just remember. Don't ever find me if something goes wrong. And yeah. Don't blame me if I treat you like how you're treating me right now.

I had enough.

I have something planned for the both of us.
I just hope whatever I have planned, will come true. Insyallah.

I'm so excited just by planning!!

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Oh gosh. I just went into Bf's Fb account and I looked at his used to be friend's account. The guy that is in with him. And the guy's sister gave a comment and it says about the account is no longer accessible and shits and he is coming out very soon. It immediately makes me fucking jealous to the core, i tell ya!!!!!! I mean ffffffuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If only he got the same, I'll be able to hug and kiss him next fucking month!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But unfortunately, he have to serve longer. An extra 3 months. FUCK SIA!! Serious shit. But you know what? Even though he got shorter sentence, his gf of 2 years didn't manage to stick around. Too bad then..

BUT I'M STILL FUCKING JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like revamping my blog but I'm super lazy like shit. -__-

My off day tomorrow, finally!! I need to catch on my sleep. Its weird that I still don't have enough sleep even though I starts work at 5pm everyday. Reaching home at 2, the latest. But still not enough sleep?!
And I've been skipping late night hangouts last week. Only once which was last Sunday. Watched Robin Hood. Oh god, don't watch it. IT SUCKS. The reason being is I'm almost broke.

Need to watch on my attendance cos I still need the money for my new job. Can't skip like how I did these past few weeks. But at least better then all my previous jobs. So be thankful bitches. You're lucky enough that I didn't ditch you like rubbish. I've already tendered my resignation yesterday.

But I'm gonna admit that I'm gonna miss that place. I'm definitely gonna miss my colleagues. You guys have been the greatest colleagues ever. A lot of things has happened while working there. Too many to say. Just let it stay as good and bad memories. And one thing for sure, I'm gonna bring my boyfriend there once he's back. :)

I'm looking forward to receive my surat cinta today. Hopefully by today. Miss that boy so much lah!!
Less then 4 months. 3 months and a week plus? Yaaahhhhhhhoooo!!!!!!! I don't mind leaving everything behind for him. As in partying, drinking and all that shitz. I wanna start a new. A new and better relationship.

I always have this flashbacks whenever I'm not doing anything. Those moments when I treated him like dirt. Throwing tantrums anytime even though its not his fault. Or getting angry whenever he's late. I remembered there was once we didn't meet for a few days and he was from camp. He was being held up by his officer thus he was late in meeting me. And he rushed to my place to meet me. But I didn't know that he was being held up. So I walked towards him with my sulky face ever and when he asked me why I just said nothing. And all the way I was being sulky. Last2 nak ade happy date, kite gadoh. Sucha waste of time and tears right? Hahaha. Oh well. I hope I will never be that unreasonable girlfriend anymore. I don't wanna take him for granted anymore. Those kisses and hugs that I took for granted. So guys, treasure your love ones. You will never know what's gonna happen. I know its easier said then done. I'm gonna think about this 14 months apart whenever I'm mad at him unreasonably. I love you so much baby.

11 months has passed, but I am still madly, deeply and crazily in love with you. I don't know what's in store for us but what I know is, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

We're turning 3 in two more months. :)

I absolutely love this group photo!

Photos from last Wednesday. I had the most awesome time ever!!!!! Seriously. I guess this is the best party with my friends ever. We had the whole night to ourselves. I've always wanted to do this. Book a hotel room before clubbing, put our belongings there, drink drank and get drunk. And around 11 or 12 get down to the scene. And after that head back to the hotel room and sleep. I've alwayssss wanted to do that man and I have finally gotten my wish!

We checked in around 8 plus. Drank, played Truth or Dare. Love that game. Hahahah. And by the time we were supposed to leave, everyone is already high. Among us Yaya was the WORST drinker ever man! Just one shot and a glass of Vodka Blueberry, she's gone with the wind. Hahaha. What lah girl! But by the time we reached CQ, she was already sober. -___-

Had a great time inside. Yaya was my dancing lesbian partner. I guess guys really likes girl on girl action eh?? We were dancing and guys was like surrounding us, looking at us dancing. Oh well too bad boys. You can see but you can't touch. We left Zirca around 3. Yaya went back to the hotel room to take her things and went home. Managed to sleep only around 5? Me and Vaan was making so much noise, singing and irritated the hell out of them. Hahahah funny shit sia. Checked out at 1pm. Had our late lunch at one of the Indian stall near Mrt. And ya, skipped work the next day. Heh.

And one motherfucker just couldnt keep her fucking mouth shut. Oh well. What can I say? A fucking old bitch. Mata merah lah kan tengok orang happy and die kene left out. Nak paito Hr. Gi mati la pompuan or should I say butch. Tak heran k. Nak bilang sume orang, g lah bilang. Orang tkde life or kurang kasih sayang memang gitu. Ish3. Kesian sak tengok orang macam gini. Orang tk kacau kau, kau nak kacau orang. Pukimak punyer betina sundal. Oops. Sorry. But I seriously think YOU ARE ONE. Get a life la sial.

I had an interview just now at a Hotel at Town. I'm going back to hairstyling people! Yes. After a year plus?? I'll be starting on 15th June but guess what? I think I still wanna keep looking for a job which pays me higher then this one. If tak dpt jugak then OK. I just go for it. I know sooner or later I'll be leaving this job soon so might as well do it now right?

Oh I just got to know that a sec sch mate of mine is getting engaged today. Damn! Baby!!! Biler nie you nak tunang dgn I????????? Cepat lah sikit!!!!! Heh.

xoxo

Hahahaha I knew it!!! See. I know what's going on before she even tells me. I'm very fast in picking up hints. So its been confirmed. I can't believe it.

Since when????
Oh god...

I have a sudden urge to blog about something at this hour. Time check, 4:53am.

I've never been a big fan of politics at work. When I was working in Jean Yip for 3 years, I've heard a lot about myself. Even those people I don't know who works at different outlets, knows about what I've done. When I don't even know them. And when my friends talked about this one or that one, whom has got nothing to do with me, I will just listen but don't say much. Why should I care? Even when it comes to myself, I don't even give a hoot. I will just let them talk and don't bother.

But the workplace I'm in now is totally different. Even though in JY, majority is chinese, its not as bad as the one I'm working with right now. Small restaurant, but too many politics. I hate it. To be honest, I don't wanna give a fuck about it but the friends I have now, makes me feel like I'm involved too. Yes, there's some complaints about me. Like me not taking work seriously and all that shit. And oh, after a year, they have finally realized that I don't suit working as a cashier. But I'm seriously glad I'm out of that cage. But the bad thing now is that I'm more exposed to the outside 'world'. Cos when I was a cashier, them guys will be the one telling me this and that but all I can do is listen. I was in the 'cage' remember? I didn't experienced it myself. But now, totally different. Anyway to cut it short, I think I work better alone. I don't want to be drag in the pit hole with someone else problem. And ya, I don't really favor people with attitude problem. Throwing tantrums anywhere and everywhere. To let others aware that they are angry.

Just now, one of my colleague told me ' Aku da banyak sangat lah dngr psl tu psl nie ari2. Tapi aku tk kacau kau pasal aku tau kau tk campor '. Glad somebody realize. But for sure I know now is that I don't wanna change just to fit in. Just because she or he is doing that, I have to follow. Cos in the end, I will have a bad name for myself too. I work for myself. I earn for my daily expenses. I rule my own life.

I'll stay. Even if it means drifting apart. But of cos, in the meantime, I am searching for a new job.

Every time when I read about other people's boyfriend ORD-ing, I feel really sad. My boyfriend should have ORD last year August but he is still stuck. And it breaks my heart every time somebody mentioned about ORD-ing.

Sometimes I wished time will fly faster then ever. I seriously can't wait for all this to end. This sadness and loneliness to be over and done with. Biler lah nak abis nie????!!!
The closer I am to be with him, the slower time is passing. Mane boleh?! Tak fair!!

5 more days till I get to talk and see his cute face. 8 more visits and its over!!! Gosh. And he told me to plan for our little gateway when he's out. Most probably he can go overseas before ORD in October or Nov. Thought of going to BINTAN or maybe the nearest is....... SENTOSA! Hahaha. Ok pa... There's quite a few new hotels in Sentosa. Furthermore its near Universal Studio. Tak dapat gi overseas, kat Spore pon ok jugak. I have to really start saving now..

Alright. Tomorrow I have 2 interviews to go. Wish me luck people.

Nice?? The moment I saw this dress, I knew I have to get it. Hahaha. Hopefully the dress comes before next Wed. I bought a dress from Studiofrost before and it fits me perfectly. Cos they're using Sofia as their model. If Nurulaini model it, I don't think I have the confidence to buy cos she's much bigger and taller then me. Whereas Sofia has my height and probably as skinny as me. I think. Haha. Can't wait to get that dress!! And I love that shoe!!! I think I wanna buy that kinda shoe when I get my next pay..

Its Tuesday and its my off day. Actually tomorrow but tomorrow no one is supposed to off cos there's this event inside. So yeah change it to today.

Gosh I'm super hungry right now!!! Haven't eat the whole day... Probably be meeting the idiots later at night for supper..

I'm currently chatting with his bestfriend right now..

I hate it when he says, 'ape kau sanggup, aku lagi sanggup'. Chey chey bebual mcm yer2 oh aje. Try lah kau jadi girlfriend die. Friends and girlfriend is a totally different group. Yes you love him but you don't love him like I do. You don't sacrifice your time and effort to be with him. You don't. I'm the one risking my time to be with him. I don't know if I will be with him till the day I die. But I'm risking all that. In the name of love.

Your love for him is different from mine. So don't ever say ' What you're willing to do, I'm willing to do more'.

I have given my most possession to him, my heart. Can you beat that?

God still loves me. If not I think I'll be dead or probably scratched from just now.

My bus got into an accident with a double decker bus while on the way to work. And me being the luckiest one was sitting right at the back of the bus. Was busy listening to my Iphone then BAAAMMM!!!
The glass from the back window was smashed and it landed in my bus. Its like flying glasses all over. The kid sitting beside me got hurt. Her hands was bleeding from the cause of the flying glasses. But I was so lucky to escaped unhurt. Only my neck was a feeling a bit strained from the impact. Seriously. That's my first accident involving a bus. I thank God for protecting me from any damage.

Two days ago I was also kinda almost got into an accident. Me and Yati was inside cab going to work and both of us was busy playing with our hps den suddenly jam brake. The cab skidded to the left because he almost hit the car infront of us. Sampai terdudok aku kat bawah. And behind us was a big bus. Imagine if the bus didnt stopped!!!!! Penyek agaknye kite. Omg.

One thing I learned from this is that it doesnt matter if you're not driving or riding, you still can get into an accident. In the bus, in the cab, on the pavement. Whatever. When it's time. it's time.

Me and Mum wasnt in a good term lately. Then I told text about what just happened. Plus saying sorry for everything and that I love her very much. I was feeling very emotional when I typed that msg. Tears were even flowing ok. Mum called 6 times and I didnt pick up. My throat was feeling too heavy to even talked. Last2 angkat jugak. Nak nangis but gue tahan. In the end, everything is OK.

Honestly, I did think about accidents these past few days. I don't know why. Skali betol2 jadi. Haiyo.

So treasure your life. Treasure the ones in it.

To my dearest Mum, Happy Mother's Day. I may not be the perfect daughter you ever dreamed of. But I still care and love you with all my heart and soul. Without you, my life will be a mess. Thank you for taking care of me and loving me still even though I always hurt you. I love you Mum.

My legs are aching. I'm very hungry right now. Plus very sleepy but simply refused to sleep.

I've already change my position and I'm OK with it but very tired. Since all this while all I do is sit and only my hands and mouth are moving. But now my whole body is moving the whole night. And I hate standing for long. Oh well. And I'm not sure about my 3 days trial at Dian's place though. Its gonna take me quite awhile to climb up that ladder. Ya I know. I should start at the bottom. Everybody has to. But its gonna take me like a year plus or even years. Plus, a big factor. I just can't wake up in the morning!!! Look at all my past jobs which requires me to wake up early. I took alot of MCs and MIA a fucking lotsss. And simply quits without telling. The worst was definitely airport. To be honest, the main factor here why I can last this long in my current job is because of the absence of my baby Faizrul.

Without him, I got nothing to do. So might as well I work, meet friends and have fun. If he's here, everyday MIA or MC i guess. One week confirm got atleast once.. Orang bercinta, nak berkepit je kan.... Well, me lah. Not sure about other people. Heh.

Anyway, we watched midnight movie again yesterday. The Break Up plan. Niceee. You know, I think I spent alot of movies and supper and shitx. Oh well.

Ok people. Bye.

I'm still awake at this hour. Feeling really hungry right now. What's new?

I guess something's wrong with my sim card for internet. It loads fucking slow. But when I change it to my hp sim card, everything is well. Gotto head down to Singtel and ask them what's wrong.

I'm bored so the best thing is to FB-hopping. Hop to some friend's profile and I saw some of Baby's friends commenting. And what do ya know? Talking about Zul? I assumed he is. Cos he said airbatu pelan2 hor. Perangai zul spray2 jgn terbwk2 kt sini. Fuckers. Still not awake yet. Still talks and takes drugs like before. I just wished one day, they will get a taste of prison food. And that point of time, they will know how high the sky is.

I just hope and pray Zul will not be close to them anymore once he gets out. I know he will still be in contact with them. I know. Spore is way too small. He has more bad setan friends then good friends. So im sure he can't avoid them. But he did told me he's not gonna be close like before. I hold on to your words baby. Just don't disappoint me.

Talking about him, tomorrow is the day! I can't wait to see him. So many things to tell him. Miss him badly. I just love it when he ask me to come near the panel and give him a kiss even though its more like a flying kiss. And his face will be so near to me too. Only a panel of glass is literally separating us both. So damn close yet so far!!!

My life without him isnt complete. All this happiness and fun is just to past the time even though I do enjoy spending time with my friends. They really do makes me happy. A few days ago we had a lepak session till 8am in the morning. Chill at Jurong Hill then had breakfast at McD West Coast Park. It was really fun. Love them.

Ok good morning people! Have a good Tuesday!

Its Monday and here I am, lying in my bed with laptop on my lap, listening to love songs. Why am I not at work?? I took urgent leave. Today and tomorrow. I'm fucking lazy to work. That place full of crap. Can't take it. And I'm just waiting for my pay. Wonder how much they gonna hold my pay. After that, I'm going to MOM to complain with Dian. How could they hold my 10 days pay and give it back only when I'm resigning??! What fuck shit is that?? Its not under MOM law to hold workers pay without any reason. Fuck hell!!! And oh, we're not allowed to talk in a group of 3. Bullshit nonsense fucking THAIS. Seriously, fuck off man!! I hope MOM will sue them till their last penny. Close down the shop and fuck off back to Thailand.

I'll probably tender my resignation by this week. I already asked Dian about her workplace. I hope I'll get it. Daya becoming a nanny? Who knows. Good practice when I already have a baby on my own. Hahaha.

Anyway Sentosa yesterday was awesome shite! We reached quite late actually. Around 5. Swim abit then we went to Azzura. That place is awesome man! The music is so much better then Zirca. And they have a swimming pool. Me, Yati, Izah, Kama, Vaan and Martina. We had soo much fun!!! Love it! Izah said she wants to do her birthday there. And I was so tired at the end of the day. Dancing, swimming, dancing and swimming. Everyone was high except for me. I didnt really drink. I hate to be drunk. Just a lilll high is enough. :)

But no doubt I'm gonna miss my colleagues when I leave. Only some. Not all. The close ones lah. Oh well. Life gotta move on...

Daya I'm a sucker for LOVE. Not interested in dramas. Deeply in love with her one and only, Mohd Faizrul <3

I know you want me,you know I want you too.

Lovers and Fighters Since 20th July 2007