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Saturday, June 19, 2010
Its 4.30 in the morning and I'm in the mood to blog. I've just finished browsing my daya88 LJ. It has so so much memories in it. I love reading back all my entries when I'm bored. Brings back good and bad memories. I read about the biggest fight we ever had in our 3 years relationship. To be honest, if that were to ever happen to me again, I'll probably will pack and go for real this time. In this 3 years, I've learned so much. Never to let a guy take advantage of you, of your trust and kindness. I used to forgive him very damn easily. I bet we all girls do right? All in the name of LOVE. But as time goes by, it will get into his big head and he will do the same thing over and over again. And yet again, we forgive just like that. I realized life is too short to settle for anything less. And all that has happened in our relationship is all in the past. Everybody makes mistakes but stupid people make the same mistakes twice, thrice or even more! One of them is none other then him. Well honestly, I'm kinda glad this happened. What I mean with this, is that he got lockdown for the things he did. Yeah. I'm not gonna hide that he got lockdown (DB eh bukan prison). Sometimes good people do bad stuff. And he is a good person only that sometimes he thinks with his dick, not his brain. And this is actually the perfect punishment for him. As much as it hurts me so fucking bad to be separated from him, he needs to learn his lesson. And I guess this is the only way for him. Or else, he will NEVER learn. I take this as a break between us where we both can think about all that has happened. Good and bad. Things that we took for granted. Its kinda a rebirth for our relationship. Where we can start a new when everything is back to normal. Its a good thing that he has realized his mistakes. Well I hope he's not saying that just because he is inside. He did told me he's gonna treat me better then before. And he has realized somethings that we should and shouldn't do when we are in a fight. One of them I hope is not to hurl vulgarities at each other! I always try not to say bad words to him cos I know it hurts. To think back, I rarely use vulgarities at him unless I am super damn mad. And the other one is not to drag the problem for days. I hate dragging the most. To me, I like to solve the problem right on the spot rather then dragging it. He likes to drag though! And the most important one, never say things that will hurt one another! We say the most regretful things when we are mad. Agree? 100%. Its been a year now. And we are still standing strong! I am so proud of myself for going through this. It was damn hard in the first few months. Thinking about the days and months without him by my side was horrible. But things got better eventually. With the help of my friends, of cos. We've been through hell and back again so many times. And tomorrow night, we turn 2 years and 11 months. My longest ever. I love you so much baby. No one can ever replace you in my heart. You are the one man that I'll always love till the day I die.  2 months and 15 days left till my baby comes home. |
    
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