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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The reason why I privitise this blog is because I think his sister read my blog. That I really don't mind. Secondly my love of my life has been taken away by the police. So what's there to blog about? And third, I just need to let out what Im feeling inside and only people i know read this. It happened yesterday night. He was actually on the way to his bike, talking to me. He wanted to meet me and then he realised there's people standing looking at him and suddenly one guy approach him and asked ' are u faizrul? ' and he said 'ya' then he was told to off his phone. And he did. AT THAT POINT OF TIME YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FELT. I WAS SCARED, SAD AND FUCKING WORRIED. And called up Lyn and just pour out to her. i burst our crying so bad. I was fucking scared siak because I know, if he is caught, he WILL be charged. But lucky thing, those drugs were not on him. Its been 24 hours already now. Time check. 9:50pm. He was caught around this time. Eh sialah! aku sedih nk mampos per siak. omg!!! I went to his house just now at 9am in the morning. I managed to sleep at 4 plus but kept waking up. At 7 I couldn't take it, aku mandi siap g wdl. Aku sampai mak die pon da bangun. And the whole day, aku really had no energy to do anything or eat anything. I just cried silently in the toilet, i lie down at Zul's bed and smell his pillow, listening to his ipod. there was soooo many of 'our' songs. every song reminds me of him and something bout us. kau leh imagine tk bapenye sedih aku? i kept crying and crying. i just couldnt take it. my heart is totally broken right now. aku sedih nk mampos.. and his mum.. i heard her crying so loud inside her room and then she told farha to take 2 of zul's used clothes. and when i went inside, i saw her crying while hugging the clothes and smelling it. sialah. tu part aku terus breakdown nangis dgn mak die sey..... omg. why am i crying right nw?? stop it daya please... and she kept crying and i just rub her shoulders and told her to calm down.. i was still crying. then she finally said ' aku takot kalau aku tk dpt jumpe die lagi '. sedih sia.. serious shit... den cry den talk den cry then talk till the eldest sister came. haiz... while inside zul's room, i was looking thru the bday card i did on his 21st bday.. and even spray his perfume on my hand. i miss his smell... i even smelled the towel he used that was hanging on the cupboard. sedih sey..... he ever told me a few days ago. hes looking forward to july, august and sep. and now... this happen. and he also msg me just now, he was on the way to aper camp tah kay yew tee. army db place like that ar. he msg me i ingat nk belikan kite 2 cincin bulang depan tpi tk dpt. he told us all not to cry and he told us he love us. sigh...... im so sad. on sunday while riding back home, i was alrdy planning wat to do on our 20th. i wanted to take him to G-max and watch sunset cos he kept telling me die nk tengok sunset together since one to two weeks ago.... sume tk kesampaian.. aku sedih.... aku sedih nk mampos....... i can cry all night thinking bout him. everytime i close my eyes, all i see is him and all our memories together... its so hard. this is harder then last time. why must this happen? why? why us? why him? why??????? im already missing him since yesterday. the thought of not having the last hug, kills me man. but i thank god i managed to hug him last sunday. he sent me back home den he kissed my cheek and lips many2 times.. then after that i was already a few steps away then he called me back. he said' kite lom hug lagi' den he smiled...... and he hugged me real tight... omg.. thinkign bout all this is making me cry.. i can still imagine his smile right now. ever so sweet. always makes me melt... his jokes... his hugs and kisses... his everything... i miss him... i miss us... right now, all i can do is wait for the mum's call. the mum will call me everytime there's news. i hope tml i will get her call and said he's been sentenced already and that means can meet him. i hope i can meet him la. im only the gf..... god...... PLEASE DEAR GOD, PLEASE SAVE HIM FROM ALL THE BAD THINGS. HES A GOOD MAN. HE HAS A VERY KIND HEART. PLEASE HELP HIM, YA ALLAH. and i already made up my mind. i will wait for him. |
    
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