I was reading back some msgs and suddenly this 'topic' popped out from my mind.
I was thinking.. Which one is worst?
Someone being pysically abused? or.. Someone being verbally abused?
But from my opinion, I think both are equally painful to go through? The hurt from physical abused can be seen by the naked eyes but verbally can't be seen. The damage is internal, they leave no scar or bruises,just a wounded spirit and sense of self-esteem.
Let me give you an example. Taken by a research from google. Heh.
Being called names by your spouse. Any negative form of name calling is unacceptable. If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is. There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. Then there are the covert, veiled attempts to put a spouse down that are harder to identify. Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a spouse down. If your spouse is constantly criticizing you, “for your own good,” be careful. This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse.
Using words to shame. Critical, sarcastic, mocking words meant to put you down either alone or in front of other people.
Yelling, swearing and screaming. I call this the “walking on eggs shells” syndrome because you are living with someone who goes verbally ballistic for very little cause.
Using threats to intimidate. No threat should be taken likely, even if your spouse tells you they are only joking, especially if it causes you to change behaviors or to feel on guard in the relationship.
Blaming the victim. Your spouse blows his/her top and then blames you for their actions and behavior. If you were only perfect they wouldn’t lose control!
Your feelings are dismissed. Your spouse refuses to discuss issues that upset you. They avoid discussion of any topic where they might have to take responsibility for their actions or words.
You often wonder why you feel so bad. You bury your feelings, walk on egg shells and work so hard at keeping the peace that every day becomes an emotional chore. You feel depressed and have even wondered if you are crazy.
Manipulating your actions. The persistent and intense use of threatening words to get you to do something or act in a way you find uncomfortable. This form of verbal abuse is common at the end of a marriage. If your spouse doesn’t want a divorce they will say whatever it takes to play on your emotions, to get you to stay in the marriage. All in an attempt to get you to comply with their desires, regardless of what is best for you as an individual.
I don't know why I very the semangat go research. Haha.
But really, I find this really interesting. Because some are happening to people around me, you-know-who la eh. Haha. Some even has happened to me?? Hahahahha. But not so bad la kan. Like screaming and swearing and all. Saying mean words to each other. I guess the worst I've been called was ' fucking stupid '? And I swear it hurts damn lot. Ya aku sissy! Skit2 tk boleh kene. But if being called ' sundal, cheap, slut ' by your own boyfriend, is seriously not a small matter. Cos I find that FUCKING RUDE TO THE MAX and tak boleh dimaafkan!!!!!!!! Never!!! Ya, SERIOUSLY. Being angry is definitely not an excuse to called people rude names like that.
How could your own boyfriend called you that???
Well, I guess most victims of verbally abused is woman. Sometimes they don't even realised that they are being abused.. Oh well.
